


Shot Down

by JuliantinaCarvaldes



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Lesbian Character, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23629729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliantinaCarvaldes/pseuds/JuliantinaCarvaldes
Summary: The Carvajal's are a mob. Valentina is a contract killer with a vendetta against men. Her life changes when on a job for Leon.
Relationships: Juliantina - Relationship
Comments: 37
Kudos: 205





	1. Deep Breath,

The sunlight filters through my curtains and I take a deep breath before opening my eyes. Another day, another headache. 

I hear my father, Leon yelling at my brother, Guille for the fifth time this week and it’s only Tuesday. I can hear my father accusing him of stealing his favourite gun again and of course, Guille denies it, but we all know he took it to impress some girl. He thinks he’s so bad and dangerous; likes to have this kind of bad boy, ‘I’m going to fuck up your life and leave you wanting more’ kind of image. Apparently the girls love it, but I’ve never wanted to test his theory.  
Men are easy to intimidate. It takes a couple of seconds for them to snap out of their own egos but once they’re out of it, WOW. They’ll do anything to keep their precious dicks intact, as if they’re worth anything, anyway.  
I’ve never liked men.

Since I was little I’ve always seen them as an unnecessary parasite that only serves to keep women from achieving their full potential. Leon has always loved my opinion of men, regardless of the fact that he is one himself. He loves seeing me not give a shit about anyone’s opinion. He gets a real kick out of knowing his girl can smell their bullshit from a mile away and won't let herself be taken advantage of. I don’t give them the chance.  
Despite my obvious disdain for men, I don’t hate them. My best friend is a man, a lot of the people around me are men. Unfortunately for them, being around them so much has only fuelled my disliking of them. I’ve always had a love hate relationship with the men in my life; it's more of a tolerance.

I work for the family business with Leon, Guille, and my sister Eva. Eva is the type to slice your dick off from one bad look, whereas I like to think I am more level headed and am not so quick to lose my temper.  
My family has always been in the business it is now. To put it bluntly, we are a mob. Leon is the leader and we (my siblings and I), are his heirs. While the rest of my family indulge in inflicting pain and think it gives them some sort of status, I act as more of a vigilante. I don’t hurt or kill anyone (primarily men) unless they deserve it, and in my experience, they usually do. 

One man in particular has really pissed me off. I met him a couple months ago doing a job for my dad. Because of my age and gender, like most men, he thought he could take advantage of the situation and fuck around with the deal he made with my father. Leon also deals with drugs. They’ve never interested me too much to get hooked; once was enough for me. But this guy. This guy was HOOKED. You could tell from one look that he was desperate and would do anything to anyone to get his fix. He stole the drugs the moment I was caught off guard, but he forgot who he was dealing with. This brings us to now, with me getting out my bed, and beginning to get ready to make another kill.

-

I make my way downstairs and find my father holding Guille in a chokehold, a regular occurrence, nothing to be worried about. I think we’ll all be shocked if Leon ever does anything serious to Guille. There’s a line he won’t cross but that’s not to say Guille REALLY pushes his buttons and may be closer to the line than he realises. 

Chivis brings me my breakfast which consists of a bagel and an espresso. I down my coffee and eat my bagel on the way out the door to my car. As I leave my dad yells goodbye to me; I turn to see him and Guille still in the chokehold and my brother raises his hand in an attempt to wave me off. I turn to the door, smiling at the situation that has become a norm in my morning routine.  
Once I’m in my car, I drag up the imp’s photo and address. I look at his repulsive features for a second and take a deep breathe before driving off. ‘Just this one kill today. Just one kill and then you can get back to bed and not have to deal with this mess today a second longer’, I tell myself. 

Here we go.  
I’m coming for you, Chino.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm new to this so please be patient with me. I had this idea for a while and thought I'd share it just in case someone else would enjoy it too. I'm not a writer so please don't be too harsh. Hope you enjoy ;)


	2. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina deals with Chino

I pulled up outside the trailer park and located Chino’s trailer. Before I got out of the car, I made sure the silencer was attached properly and that my gun was loaded. I put on my balaclava and jacket and another deep breath later, I was getting out of my car to get to business.  
I never like killing. Not unless it’s someone who truly deserves it, and man did this ass hole deserve it. 

I heard shouting so waited quietly, ducked down the side of the trailer, hidden by the night sky. I was waiting to try and scope out how many people were in the trailer – there’s no point risking myself getting killed for some bum. From the shouting, I deciphered that there were two people max, including Chino. He seemed to be shouting at someone in his family and from what I could tell, it was a young woman. From the shadows on the curtains, I could see someone cowering, Chino raising his hand and smacking down hard on the victim. A whelp was heard and I had had enough. The sound of the woman crying was horrible; it was incomparable to anything I have heard before and it completely ripped into me. This ass hole was going to get it, bad.

I worked my way round to the door of the trailer and waited until I had a clear view of where Chino was. Thankfully the ass-hat left his door unlocked, which made it easier to make the attack a surprise and catch him off guard. I swung the door open just in time to see Chino towering over this poor girl, already covered in bruises. She couldn’t have been more than nineteen and I winced in sympathy for her situation. I quickly returned to the task at hand and spoke up.

“Oi ass hole! Remember me?” Chino had been so blinded in his fit of rage, he hadn’t even noticed I had entered the trailer until I raised my voice. 

He snapped his head round in my direction and oh man, the look of terror in that man’s eyes – I’d pay to see it.

He immediately swivelled around and left the poor woman on the floor alone. I was grateful for him having moved away from her so there was so way she could somehow get caught in what I was about to do.

"Surprise!", I shouted, feigning happiness.

I glanced at the woman and gave her a look to try and communicate that she was safe from me, and that Chino was the one I was after. She picked up on my look and I could see her physically relax a bit more, and start to hold her elbow, trying to assess her wounds.  
I managed to turn my attention back to Chino, who had now picked up a knife and apparently fancied his chances in trying to fight me. Idiot. 

“what are you going to do with that then, huh?” I started laughing and Chino realised how stupid he looked. “You see this? This thing in my hand? Its called a gun. You ACTUALLY brought a knife to a gun fight” at this point I couldn’t control my laughter. I saw the hope drain from Chino’s eyes as he admitted defeat and lowered the weapon and began to cry and beg for his life.

“Oh no, come on, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made fun of you. Please, pick the knife back up. Lets play”. I knew I was being mean but the guy was ridiculous and every ounce of my being knew he deserved this. 

My smile faded from my face in a matter of seconds. I aimed the gun at his head, told the woman to look away, and shot.

Chino fell to the floor.

“don’t look at him. It’ll make it worse, trust me. I’m not going to hurt you, don’t worry”, I said as I turned around and addressed the woman, still on the floor. I quickly ran over to the sofa and covered Chino with a blanket. The poor woman had just witnessed this man being killed, the least she needed right now was to see the remains.

Returning to the woman, I didn't even know what to say, I just knew she needed some form of comfort. Even though I was entirely the wrong person to be giving her it. I noticed she was still holding her arm so I asked her if I could inspect her injuries. She cowered from me and I don’t blame her, who wouldn’t. But then she looked up at me and our eyes met. The innocence in her eyes lured me in and I found myself staring. All she could see were my eyes because of the balaclava, but she stared back and I felt completely exposed. 

“Please, Let me see your arm”, I gave her a gentle and comforting look and she eased a bit, probably figuring if I was going to kill her, I would’ve done it already.

I approached her arm and could immediately tell it was broken. I informed her and told her I would help her. There was no one else around and she was in a state of shock; there’s not much she could do for herself right now.

Somehow I managed to convince her into letting me help her and I ended up driving with her in the passenger seat, taking her back to my family home. I know how risky this is, bringing a key witness to the disclosed location of the “Great Carvajal Mob: Mexico’s Biggest Threat” – as titled by our No.1 fan, ‘The Herald’ newspaper. We have a family doctor who lives with us in the mansion and seeing as I couldn’t take her to an actual hospital for obvious reasons, this was the next best thing for the girl. 

She was petrified, and quite rightly. I’d just killed whoever that man was to her and now this murderer was taking her to address her broken arm. I know things don’t quite add up and this is a really strange situation; but the woman needed medical attention and something about her told me I should help her.

She still hadn’t breathed a word to me, the whole time only nodding or shaking her head, which is understandable. This is the first time in a long time that I have felt any kind of remorse for killing someone. By now, I had come desensitised to it but watching this young woman and the affect all this might have on her, caused a pain in my chest I cant quite describe. 

She ended up passed out in my car by the time we arrived at the Carvajal mansion. I had to try and think of a way to get her in without everyone bombarding me with questions and maybe even killing the woman. I had to be discreet. I knew I could trust the doctor as she is an old friend and has helped me many a time in the past.

I carried the woman in my arms, being careful when moving her because of her fragile state. She stirred slightly because of the pain but didn’t wake up, thankfully. I went to the back entrance of the house, which is closest to the Doctor's office. I made it to there undetected, settled her down on one of the sofas and text the Doctor that it was an urgent matter and to be discreet. 

While I waited, I watched the girl. Something about her drew me to her. I couldn’t explain it so I didn’t even try. Her breathing was even and her face looked so peaceful. I was reaching out to move a stand of hair out of her face when the door opened abruptly and I jumped away from the sleeping angel before my eyes. 

The doctor entered, stared at us both, and sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you have been really encouraging and I really appreciate that, so thank you! Hope this is going okay!


	3. Who is that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana's POV

The sound of the door slamming wakes me for the sixth time tonight. I always have restless nights in the trailer park, with there constantly being someone shouting or some dogs barking, etc. I look at my phone and see its 7 am. I may as well get up and start my day. 

I rise from the sofa in the trailer my “family” calls “home”. I recognise the cause of the slam was my “father”, Chino, leaving to do God knows what to God knows who. There’s no easy way of saying it, Chino is a drug addict.

My mother died in child birth and for a while Chino kind of had his act together. He wasn’t the best father by any means; mentally and emotionally abusive, but he didn’t get physically abusive until I turned twelve. It was around the same time he started using drugs again. Now we’re here, in this trailer park, just the two of us, the sofa as my bed and my “dad” disappearing all day to hunt his next fix and do anything to anyone to get it. The only reason he kept me around was because he knew my mother would never forgive him if she were alive and that he’d pay for it in the afterlife, as if any of that was real anyway.

I make myself breakfast and start drawing. My dream is to become a famous designer and escape this hell hole. I’m well aware my dreams are unrealistic and I’m only hurting myself in the long run by aiming for something so unattainable for someone like me, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but dream of a better place, a better situation and life for myself, than this. There has to be somewhere in the world I can fit in and lead my own version of my life, not someone else’s. 

I had been drawing all day and Chino stumbled into the trailer at around 4 pm. By this time, I had finished many designs and was sat on the sofa looking at universities on my phone; only fuelling my disappointment, knowing I can’t go to them.

Chino is obviously high. He doesn’t even try to hide it anymore. When he’s like this he’s very easily irritated and I can tell I am going to have to be careful around him if I want to survive the night. I do what he says, and I don’t get choked, simple. He wanted a beer so I got him one. 

After a while rummaging through the fridge, I found his last remaining beer and got off of my knees to walk over and give it to him. However, I didn’t balance right and I fell back, smashing his beer in the process… he wasn’t happy to say the least. 

What started as yelling and threatening glares turned into me being on the floor, cowering like a poor, defenceless animal, while Chino carried out his routine, daily session of beating his daughter. He slapped, punched and kicked me and all I could do was cry. I didn’t know how to stop him and I had no where to run to, with no money to support myself so I had no options, other than to stay. 

I had become quite good at covering up bruises with the little makeup I could afford to buy myself from the money I stole. I didn’t want to steal, but I didn’t want people asking questions either. 

Honestly, I was wasting away living in that trailer with a full time job as Chino’s punching bag and I didn’t know where I was going. What plans did I have for the future? What do I want to do with my life? Ma would be so disappointed if she could see me now. It’s the only reason I’m glad she’s not with us now, so she can’t see how pathetic her daughter turned out to be. 

My mind was screaming at me to fight back but my body didn’t want to listen. So, there I stayed; on the floor, letting Chino do whatever he wanted to me with no consequence. 

That is until a person burst into the trailer. 

I had no chance of trying to identify who they were, they wore all black – boots, jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and balaclava. Whoever they were, they were here for Chino. I was soon assured of this as they gave me a trusting look that oddly made me feel safe, even though they were literally holding us at gunpoint. Well, not us, Chino.

I can’t remember much of the traumatic even and the intruder and Chino’s conversation was a sort of blur to me. I was too focused on my arm feeling like it had been snapped in two pieces. The next thing I know, the person, who turns out to be a woman, judging from their voice, is telling me to look away. 

She shoots.

Chino falls to the ground. 

The masked woman suddenly throws a blanket over him and comes to my level to inspect my wounds. What kind of hit woman is she? 

Its then that I make direct contact with her eyes. I get so lost in them so easily I forget where I am and who she is. She just killed Chino. What the fuck is going on!?

She asked to see my arm and tells me she won’t hurt me. Honestly, I don’t think I have many other options so after a moment, I slowly and cautiously nod, still recovering from her devastatingly beautiful eyes. She tells me that my arm is broken, but that she's going to look after me. It must have broken from the fall to the ground when Chino had practically thrown me across the room. 

I weigh up my options and take in my surreal situation as best I can. I’m alone now. No one is tying me down, but I also have no one left now. Granted, Chino wasn’t looking after me and I am better off without him, but he was my father, my mother’s husband. He was part of her and she was part of him, and now that’s gone. I’m in no state to take myself to hospital and if I did go there what on earth would I tell them? That would involve the police and honestly that will bring more bad than good right now. I feel that my only option is to trust the killer in front of me, and that terrifies me. Even if I said no, she’d probably force me, so what’s the point in trying to resist? After all, she said she’d look after me and she defended me against Chino, so, what’s there to lose.

We were now in her car and she still had her balaclava on. I wanted so badly to see her face. I want to know the person who saved me and the owner of those intoxicating eyes. 

I hadn’t even spoken to her once, I guess from being in a state of shock? 

I felt myself drifting off to sleep in her comfortable leather car seats, but I told myself I should stay awake. The woman was a stranger and had just murdered my father - no matter how lousy he was. Eventually though, my eyes got too heavy to fight anymore and I found myself delving into a deep sleep that I’m sure I’d end up regretting. 

\- 

When I woke up I was in what looked like an office. I was on a sofa and my arm was in a cast. How long had I been out? Where am I? I knew I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. 

I stood too quickly and instantly regretted it, feeling my head thump and spin. I tried to take in my surroundings and that’s when I realised I wasn’t the only one in the room.


	4. Chato and Beau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr Navarro and Val's history

Dr Navarro had been in our family since before I was born. She’s technically a distant cousin to the family and wanted to get involved in the business somehow. So, she lives with us and she has quite literally, been a life saver. 

With some clients thinking they can take advantage, a lot of us have come home with gun wounds and slashes that our dearest Dr Navarro can fix easily. I can’t think what we’d do without her, especially me.

She had always covered for me and we trusted each other very much, so I knew I could trust her with this. She is like the older sister Eva should have been and I, the younger she never had.

Everyone else in the house addressed her formally, calling her just Dr or using her full title with name, Dr Navarro. She and I had bonded more over the years, being the only sane women in the house and we adopted nicknames for each other. 

When I was born, Navarro delivered me and I quickly adopted the nickname Beau. Beau is the male equivalent to ‘Belle’ in French. It is supposed to mean a 'handsome man' but she felt it fit me perfectly because of me strong will to prove myself in the family business, and the way I was treated as “one of the guys” from an early age. I was never willing to just sit on the side-lines and “behave like a lady”. She called me that when everyone else called me by my full name, of just Valle. 

I had a nickname for her too. I called her Chato; which means “flat” in Spanish. When I was little, I’d always pinch her nose and compare her to a pug. Her nose was flatter than most and when I was a little bit older, she ended up telling me about a surgery she had when she was a baby to fix her nose, so she could breathe through it more easily. I started to feel bad about the nickname I had given her when I was little, but she told me she didn’t mind. She was very good at taking a joke and laughing at her own expense. It’s one of the things I love most about her. When everyone else in the house was all serious and aggressive, she offered a comforting escape and I often found myself in her office, seeking refuge from the chaos of the rest of the house. Not even my bedroom was safe from the destruction.

Chato and Beau - the dream team.

That look Chato gave me when she walked in was almost routine. I was always getting myself into sticky situations and was constantly in her office begging her for help. Just like now, with this poor woman lying on her sofa, completely reliant on me and her trust that I am going to protect her.

“Beau, what is this?”. All I could do was look at her and hope for the best and not too much of a telling off. No, you know what? I’m a grown woman and she works for me. If I want to bring her a beat and bruised woman to fix up, she better well damn do it! 

“uhhhhhh, please help? I promise this is the last time”, is what I actually managed to get out.

“Valle you can’t keep doing this. I work for you, but really, I work for your father and I think he’d want to know about this”. I knew she was right, Leon would blow his top if he knew what was happening right now, let alone that he was completely in the dark about it, but I knew Navarro would never actually tell him. She wouldn’t want to see me in that kind of trouble. The fact she had called me Valle added a seriousness to what she was telling me and I could tell I was on thin ice. 

“look, I know, I know. I just really need you to help her, please. She’s had a really rough time and she needs your help”, I looked at her with those puppy eyes and there was no way she could resist. We both know it’s a lost cause when I flash my puppy eyes at her. They’re one of her few weaknesses.

“fine”, she gives me a disapproving look. “but this is the last time Valle! I mean it”. I look at her gratefully and she gets to work assessing the beautiful woman passed out on her sofa.

“I’m just going to give her a shot to make sure she stays asleep. We don’t want her waking up half way through me bandaging her up and freaking out about where she is and who I am”. I hesitate but eventually agree that might be the best option right now.

“okay. Yeah. Go ahead. As long as it’s safe, of course. She doesn’t even know who I am; hasn’t even seen my face so she would freak out, for sure. Who wouldn’t”, we both know I’m nervous by the way I’m starting to ramble and break up my sentences. This caused Chato to crouch down beside me after giving the woman her injection to try and calm me.

“Beau. Look at me, she’s fine, you’re fine. Don’t get yourself worked up over something you can’t control right now”. I not at her and she gets back to work. “so, are you going to tell me how your two paths crossed and why this young woman is now passed out on my couch?”. I don’t know how to respond. I don’t want Navarro getting into more trouble by knowing what’s happened. She’d feel more obligated to tell Leon if she knew the woman was a key witness to a murder I just committed. 

“let’s not get into it. It’s kind of boring actually”. I’ve always been a bad liar, and Chato sees right through me but she doesn’t probe.

"She's pretty. Don't you think?". Chato knows exactly what shes doing and gives me a cheeky side eye and smile with her comment.

"yeah, I guess. I hadn't really noticed". Another lie Navarro saw right through.

I don’t leave the woman’s side for one second. I feel overwhelmingly responsible for her and I can’t say I wouldn’t protect her with my life right now. What the fuck am I doing? This woman is a complete stranger to me. I could leave her on the street to fend for herself if I wanted right now. Why did the thought of that make me feel sick?

Navarro managed to put a cast on the sleeping woman and clean up her cuts, very strategically I might add. She never fails to impress me with her delicacy and ability to deal with situations like this with a completely level head. As opposed to me, who is sat on the neighbouring sofa, staring at the sleeping woman as if she was beginning and end of my being. 

I ended up falling asleep on the sofa next to her; watching her sleep so peacefully lulled me into the state myself. Navarro left and locked the door to her office so no one could come in and discover the woman. I had a key myself, in case we needed to get out, so that wasn’t an issue.

I slipped into a nightmare. I was being chased and I couldn’t run. It was completely numb. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move and I woke up just before the faceless hunter caught me and undoubtedly slaughtered me. 

I woke up to the woman awake, sat on the sofa, staring at me.


	5. Follow me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina and Juliana talk

When I noticed the other person in the room, instinct told me to freak out and get away from there as fast as possible. I didn’t know where I was, or with who – not an ideal situation to wake up to. The person I was in the room with was thankfully soundly asleep so I had time to gather my thoughts and make a plan.

My mind jumped to everything that had happened before I passed out. Chino being assassinated, breaking my arm, those blue eyes. Only then, did I look down and realise my arm had been put in a cast while I was asleep. How did they do that? Did they sedate me? Who is ‘they’?

I looked at the woman sleeping on the sofa and took a moment to properly take in her features. She was beautiful. I wonder if she is the owner of those enchanting blue eyes, and kind of hoped they did. However, if they did belong to her, that means she’s a murderer and I should DEFINITELY get out of here as soon as possible. 

I walked over to the windows on the right side of the room and started to calculate my chances jumping from a second story window. I’d most likely not land right, hurt myself more and alert god knows who of my presence and –   
“Morning” someone’s voice broke me out of my scheming. I slowly turned around and saw that the sleeping beauty had woken up.

“Who are you? Why am I here? Let me go”. The woman looked at me surprised at my outburst and gestured for me to take a seat.

“Listen, I brought you here to HELP you. I SAVED you. Where else would you have gone in your state? Huh? Also, you’re free to leave whenever you want. Have you even tried the door?”, I marched over to the door at her words. I tried to handle and failed. I heard her giggling over my shoulder. All I could do was take a deep breath and just try to accept my life was in this beautiful psychopath’s hands. “Okay, I’m sorry. That was mean. Please, take a seat and let’s talk”. I walked back over to the sofa cautiously and took my seat as far away from her as possible. She got up and moved closer to me.

“You killed my dad”, I spat out. In reality, I know she did me a favour. I hated Chino, but she doesn’t know that.

“You mean that man that was beating the shit out of you? That was your dad? Wow” she took a moment and looked at me with her eyes widened, emphasising the shocking revelation. “I think I might have done you a favour”. I hated how right she was about the whole situation. She was so smug about killing someone. How could anyone ever enjoy killing?

“So, you decide to “help” me by kidnapping me? After murdering MY FATHER!? How sick can you be?”. The woman seemed to still at this. I must have struck a chord in her or something because her smug smirk was wiped straight off her face. She sat back down and fiddled with her hands. Her cocky exterior had dissolved and I was able to look at her as just a normal woman instead of a murderer.

She kept staring at her hands for a moment and I decided to sit down on the neighbouring sofa. There’s no way out of here unless she decides to let me go, so I may as well just relax the best I can for the time being. It’s all out of my control.

“I’m not keeping you here you know. You’re not my prisoner” the woman basically whispers. I can tell she is feeling some sort of guilt for keeping me here and it’s reassuring to know she can see what’s wrong with this whole situation. “You can leave if you really want to, but you might want to weigh up your options before you go”. I was really looking forward to hearing how she was going to try convince me to stay here with her.

“Oh I’d love to hear this. Come on, tell me. Why should I willingly keep my life in your hands. Indulge me”. I was getting braver with how much attitude I was giving the woman, completely forgetting if I pushed it too much, she could literally end me right here, right now. She gives me a look as if to ask ‘are you done yet?’ and I sink back into my seat waiting for her to continue. 

“If you go out there, alone, where are you going to go exactly? I got one of my men to go to your trailer and by the looks of things it was just you and that ass hole woman beater”. At this I look down into my lap to fiddle with my hands, knowing this was true. I really didn’t have anyone else. My whole existence was in that trailer; no extended family to fall back on, and no friends to wonder where I had disappeared to. I let her continue, “If you stay here however, I can offer you full protection, free meals, free medical care and a somewhat peaceful existence – and before you go on another tangent, you wouldn’t owe me anything. No expectations.” She was looking me in the eyes now, trying to give me her most genuine look of compassion, in an attempt to let me know she was being sincere, I guess.

“Why would you do that for me? What would you get out of this?”. The deal sounded like my best option at the moment but I couldn’t get my head around why she would do this for me. 

“I wouldn’t get anything out of it; like I said, you wont owe me anything. I’m an assassin, not an ass hole” – a very weird sentence, but I let her continue. “I saw how you were living before and the condition that man left you in. No woman should go through that and I feel some sort of odd connection to you, I can’t explain it. But, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself just leaving you on the street, to fend for yourself with nothing”. I was speechless. I thought this woman was meant to be a ruthless killer. Isn’t that her job? “I won’t lay a finger on you, I promise – and I’ll make sure no one else does for that matter. Oh, and you really can leave whenever you want. Again, you’re nobody’s prisoner”.

She looked at me expectedly now, as if there was a normal response for this whole conversation and situation. All I could do was nod slowly, not really knowing what I was getting myself into, but knowing this is oddly where I was safest right now – wherever THIS is.

“Only one thing”, the woman started cautiously. I knew it was too good to be true. “We’re going to need to tell people that you’re a new trainee recruit for the business, and that I need to have 24/7 access to you, so you are living here”. She looked at me as if she knew how ridiculous that sounded so I was able to relax a bit. “my family is very suspicious of new people and would want some sort of solid explanation for the stranger in their house, naturally. They can’t know who you really are, so this is our only option I’m afraid. The Doctor who looked after you, Navarro, is a dear friend of mine and is the only other person who knows who you really are. We can trust her- YOU can trust her”, she explained the difficult situation very calmly and it reassured me to some extent. I don’t know why I trusted her so much, but I felt oddly safe with her around.

A moment’s silence went by while I was still trying to get my head around everything that was happening.

“I guess I better take you to your room now”, she said rising from the sofa. As she approached the door and I followed her closely, she turned to speak to me. “I’m Valentina, by the way”, she flashed me a charming smile and I struggled to hold myself together - trying with all my strength not to get lost in her heavenly features. She held out her hand for me to shake and I cautiously took it. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m Juliana”, I said in almost a whisper, stunned with disbelief at how perfect but destructive the angel before me was. We continued shaking hands for way longer than necessary, the both of us taking each other’s features in properly. Valentina suddenly dropped my hand and smirked.

“I know” she said smugly, turned on her heel and went back to unlocking the door. “Follow me”. She flashed me one last smile, and I followed her through the door and out of the office, to my new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to overthink this way too much. I hope you enjoy where I'm going with this, though.


	6. Bonding

I was astounded when Juliana actually agreed to staying in the mansion and going along with my plan. I never in a million years dreamed she might see reason in it.

I guided her to one of the spare rooms on the top floor, which was conveniently located right next to mine. 

“So, you should have everything you need in here, um, if you have any problems, or need anything else, I’m just right next door, so don’t hesitate to ask me for anything. Its no bother”. I had to tell myself to shut up and stop rambling as Juliana looked at me like she was about to shoot me and put me out of my misery. I just felt so responsible and sorry for Juliana. The woman had been through hell and back and even though our meeting had been a negative one, I wanted to make her feel safe and protected. She deserved that and I wanted to get it right and do a good job.

I could tell she was apprehensive about the whole situation, and quite rightly. Anyone would be if they were in her place. 

I felt this oddly deep bond with the woman for reasons I couldn’t quite decipher. I’d always believed in fate and that people come in and out of our lives for reasons beyond our control. I had a gut feeling that Juliana and I were meant to meet. I just had to figure out why. 

Juliana walked into her room and her jaw dropped. I could tell she was stunned by the upgrade from her trailer. She walked around the room, looked out of the feature window which showcased the stretched garden and I heard her gasp when she realised she had her own en suite. The scene sent flutters through my chest that I couldn’t even try to explain right now. I just watched her, silently observing, appreciating the appreciation.

“I’ll let you get settled and in about an hour or so, and then I’ll come back to introduce you to the staff and my family?”. She agreed by nodding slowly, still stunned by her room. The communication between us was odd and I was well aware that I was sending very confusing mixed signals. One minute I was killing her father, the next I was going out of my way to make sure she was safe and cared for.

I could only image how confused Juliana must be right now - not knowing what to think or expect, so I left her to it and gave her some space to think and take in her surroundings. 

I really like to think that I’m not actually a bad person. I’ve killed in the past, yes, and I will kill in the future. However, I only kill those who deserve it, and even then I don’t take it lightly. Seeing someone in Juliana’s position, how could I not help and feel responsible. I wasn’t just going to leave the girl there to clean up her dead father’s remains with an unattended broken arm and trashed trailer. No. I simply couldn’t. 

-

I went downstairs and joined my family in the living room. It was a rare occasion where no one was arguing or throwing punches, so I took the chance to tell them about Juliana - well, the made up version of who she was.

“Guys, listen up for a sec”, everyone turned to me and I suddenly felt nervous. “so, I’ve decided to take on a new assistant/trainee and she will be helping me on missions. She’s going to be living with us for the time being so I’m just making sure you’re all aware of who she is, and not have her thrown out. Okay?” I managed to get that all out in one breath and waited for Leon, Guille and Eva’s reactions. 

Everyone knows I’m a terrible liar and my family are raising suspicions of Juliana straight away, specifically Eva.

“and where did you find this girl?” Eva asks me, trying to test me.

“she was getting harassed by some men on the street, I stepped in and she told me her story. She had no one, no job and no place to live so I offered her the job; obviously provided she does the training. She’s very hopeful and eager to start though”, I finish and flash Eva a false, exaggerated smile, the both of us being fully aware I’m not telling the whole truth. To be fair though, it isn’t a complete lie; Juliana really didn’t have anyone else or anywhere to go.

Leon and Guille didn’t really bat an eyelid at the news. They didn’t care what was going on, just as long as they could still kill people and sell drugs – Neanderthals. They knew I wasn’t telling the whole truth but they didn’t care enough to investigate. Eva however, made everyone’s business her own and I know she wasn’t going to just accept this change. She would surely investigate Juliana and interrogate her at some point, so I needed to brief Juliana ASAP before Eva got to her first.

It had been around two hours since I left Juliana in her room to settle. I excused myself from my family and went to eat before returning to the angel upstairs. 

Heading up to her room, I brought with me a bottle of water and some biscuits for Juliana to have, while we looked through the file I had one of my men create for her. 

I knocked her door lightly, paused a moment and entered the room. 

She was curled up in her bed, snug under the covers, sound asleep. 

I didn’t want to be a creep but she looked so peaceful, especially when she was asleep, I couldn’t help but stare. I found myself mirroring her evened out breathing and was immediately calmed by her presence. 

I sat down on the chair next to the bed and watched her for a moment, breathing in the calming aroma and studying her face.

I have never found anyone so fascinating. Everything Juliana did past, present and future, I wanted to hear about it and be there for it. 

I came out when I was 14. It wasn’t a shock to anyone really, considering my obvious disdain for men from an early age, and being vocal about how much they repulsed me. I feel like everyone knew except for me. I thought I was just being young and naïve almost – that my attraction to them would grow naturally as I got older, but it never happened. 

Nobody was negative about my coming out and I was accepted from the get-go – my family being the type that doesn’t care who you kiss and makes you happy. Their main concerns are loyalty and choosing the family above all else. I guess that ties in with accepting my homosexuality well.

Sure, I’d had fun with girls in the past, I’d been a player and most eligible, dangerous, bachelorette in Mexico for a while, but I was starting to want more. I was over messing around. What I craved most was a genuine connection with someone, through thick and thin.

I felt this in Juliana. There was a magnetic force drawing me to her, and making me want to be there for her with nothing in return. It was a strange feeling after being raised in such a selfish and destructive family, while also being surrounded by self serving, fake friends my whole life. There has never been a consistent source of love or companionship in my life, not since my mum died when I was 7. 

I try not to think about her too much but I miss that warm, comforting feeling of being held and loved unconditionally. I missed her with my entire being. 

-

Juliana started to stir in her sleep so I got up as quickly but quietly as possible, so she didn’t know I had been watching her sleep. I was really trying my hardest to make her feel comfortable and welcome. I was so invested in her, the worst thing that I could do right now is accidentally push her away with my mushy lesbian shit. She might not even be gay - I’m getting way too ahead of myself. 

“hey there”, I decided to break the silence, making Juliana jump a little, startled by my presence. 

“oh, hi Valentina” – not very happy to see me. Okay, that’s fine.

“here, I brought you some water and biscuits”, I said pointing to the dresser, where I had placed the food and drink earlier. “sorry to interrupt your sleep, we just need to go through your file before you meet anyone else in the house”  
“My file?”, Juliana looked confused.

“Yeah. They can’t know who you really are, we need to get our story straight”. I could tell Juliana wasn’t expecting this to be so much work – having to memorise a file, as if she was an undercover agent. “I know this is a lot all at once, but trust me. The people in this house are vultures if they sense something suspicious, especially my sister. This is what’s needed to keep you safe”. Juliana’s face went from confusion to appreciation at my last sentence. She seemed glad I was actually proving to look after her well and that she could actually trust me. 

Did I mention she looks adorably scruffy when she’s just woken up?

Anyway. 

“Yeah that makes sense actually, I guess” Juliana said while looking thoughtfully at her hands. “how did you get a file together so fast?”, he confused expression returning.

“I have ways”, I say with a wink, deciding to try being playful. She blushes at this and I think there might be hope. 

-

Looking through the file and learning its contents before dinner was a challenge, but we managed it, while having a laugh and bonding in the process. Juliana is really easy to get along with and even if nothing romantic comes out of this, at the very least I have found a person I can talk to who actually listens, and vice versa. We laugh and get to know each other more. I am in pure bliss. 

Being sat on the bed, both cross legged, facing each other like gossiping teenagers, and being able to watch her heavenly features erupt in joy and laughter is all I ever want for the rest of my life. Her smile, her laugh – it blooms something in my chest and it’s very easy to get addicted to the sensation. It is stronger than any drug.

There’s no denying I’m incredibly attracted to Juliana. Everything about her sends chills down my spine. I’m trying to tell myself to be cautious, even though I know I am already a lost cause when it comes to her.   
It’s now 7 pm and Chivis is calling me down for food. It’s time for the big test.

Juliana and I give each other reassuring smiles, take a deep breath and head down to the dining room, ready for the interrogation to commence.


	7. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carvajal's have dinner and meet Juliana

Valentina and I have grown closer in just the last couple of hours. I find myself opening up to her, the more time I spend with her. After helping me learn my file, I can feel myself trusting her more and wanting to work toward some kind of friendship.

We make our way downstairs to dinner, so I can be introduced to her family and the other residents of the mansion. We stop just before turning the corner, into the massive dining room and Valentina asks me if I’m ready. I nod and she gives me a comforting smile as if to say “You’ve got this”. 

As we enter the room, everyone turns to look at us – or more specifically, me. I smile awkwardly and follow Valentina to our seats, which are right next to each other. 

Her whole family is looking at me, trying to work me out, and make their minds up about me before I’ve even opened my mouth.

“So, this is the famous Juliana – the poor stray, taken in off the street, who decided to infiltrate our home and, do what exactly? Try to take us down from the inside out?”, a young woman spoke up first. She couldn’t have been much older than Valentina, she looked around 26? I assumed she was her sister, Eva.

“Eva! what is wrong with you? At least let her sit down before you start attacking her”, Valentina jumped to my defence. I hadn’t expected this dinner to go well, but I never thought would be this bad. 

Suddenly a man on the other side of the table spoke up - I’m guessing Valentina’s brother.

“Eva can’t you see the poor thing is scared? We need to make her feel welcome. I sure as hell plan on being as accommodating as possible”, he winked and smirked at me and I almost threw up before I had chance to get anything in my stomach.

“The both of you stop it. I raised you to kill, but not without manners. Treat our new house mate with respect”, this was Leon’s turn to speak up. He defended me but I had a bad feeling about him. I had to be tread lightly around these people if I didn’t want to be found dead in the morning, clearly.

I turned to look at Valentina and found that she was already looking at me. She wasn’t smiling and she wasn’t frowning, she just looked lost. I gave her a smile and she woke up from her trance. 

The conversation flowed well, all things considered, and I managed to answer everyone’s questions correctly.

Everyone was nearing the end of their food when Eva decided to throw one last punch. 

“Juliana, tell us. How did you end up being such a leech? It must be so hard having no meaning to your life. What’s that like? To have no one love you, or depend on you. It must be… freeing”. I was so close to exploding, but then Valentina grabbed my hand and held it under the table. I turned to look at her again and all I could see in her eyes in that moment, was pure hatred for her sister.

Eva had a smug look on her face and looked at the both of us as if she had accomplished something - even though she hadn’t managed to get a rise out of me, thanks for Valentina.

“You know, Juliana, maybe you should visit my room tonight. I’m not sure if Valle over here has bagged you yet, but I can sure as hell show you a good time tonight”. Guille tipped Valentina over the edge and she erupted in her brother’s face.

Honestly, I was so caught off guard by Valentina’s reaction I didn’t even hear what she had said. Next thing I knew, Valentina was stood behind Guille’s chair, threatening him and holding a knife to his throat, while her family watched laughing. I could see in her eyes that she was close to the edge and I feared for a second she might actually do it. 

“Valentina, stop, it’s fine”, I pretended not to be offended by Guille’s words, seeing as I am meant to be getting these people on my side.

“No! It’s not fine!”, she pulled Guille’s little remaining hair so his head was thrown back and he had to make eye contact with her. I saw the man practically shrink into his shell. I saw a little boy trapped behind his eyes who was being punished by his father.

Val forced him to apologise, still holding the blade to his neck. It took a couple of seconds and a little more pressure from the knife to his bare skin for him to finally mumble the words. 

I was astounded at this family’s whole dynamic. There Valentina was, about to literally kill her brother, and no one cared. Leon just carried on ripping the chicken off its bone like an animal, and Eva couldn’t draw her attention away from staring daggers into me. 

Valentina took a step back from her brother’s chair and her eyes immediately softened as she looked over to me. 

“Juls are you finished with dinner?”. The nickname didn’t go unnoticed, but I quite liked it coming from her. I nodded and she tilted her head to the door as a signal to follow her out of the room.

Once we were out of ear shot she turned to me and looked on the verge of tears. She took my hand and apologised profusely. 

“Juls I am so, so sorry. I can’t apologise enough. I knew that wouldn’t go kindly but never in a million years thought it would be that bad. First Eva and then Guille?! I –“, she stopped rambling when she noticed my stunned expression. “I guess what I’m trying to say is are you okay?”. I could melt.

“Val, I’m fine, trust me. I’ve been through far worse, as you probably know with your spies everywhere”, I laughed, encouraging her to do the same and try to calm down.

“Val, huh?”, she’d picked up on my nickname for her too.

“Yeah, well, you gave me a nickname, you may as well have one too”, I said with a gentle smile.

We stared at each other for a moment, bringing each other complete tranquillity after the chaos that had just occurred in the next room.

“Come on, I’ll give you a tour and introduce you to the staff”, Val beamed, turned around, and led me to the garden.

The cool evening breeze hit my bare arms immediately and I shivered a little - enough for Val to notice, and offer for us to go back inside, though I declined. We walked around the garden, basking in complete silence, with no words needed for us to communicate. I could tell Val was feeling guilty for the scene that had been caused in the dining room moments ago. 

“thank you for what you did back there”, I spoke in a hushed voice and gave Val a sympathetic look. 

“you shouldn’t be thanking me for that. It was completely chaos, not to mention embarrassing”. She looked so sad and disappointed with herself. I hated it. “I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again though after hearing Guille and Eva say what they did”, she joked but I could tell there was truth in her statement.

“you don’t have to feel bad about that, please don’t. I’ve seen much worse, trust me. I’m actually glad you did that so I didn’t have to speak up for myself. No offence, but your family is very scary. I don’t think they like me very much”, we were both laughing now and the tension had completely dissipated. 

“How dare you talk about my family like that!”, Val exclaimed, feigning offence.

We both giggled some more and were enveloped by silence once again. Nothing about it was awkward though - our shared silence was completely comfortable, and I couldn’t imaging feeling more at ease in this moment with anyone else.

I knew I could trust Val now. She is so much more than she lets up and I feel myself heading down a slippery slope that I’m definitely not prepared for. 

She’s defended me multiple times and continues to put my best interest at heart. After so many years of fending for myself with Chino, drug dealers and his sleaze bag “mates” he would bring to the trailer, and try to take advantage of me, it was refreshing to be able to breathe for a minute and be looked after. Val gave me that. 

“Come on, let’s go inside. It’s getting colder”, Val suggested as we made our way back to the house. “I’ll show you the rest of the garden tomorrow? It looks much better in the day time anyway”, I smile, nod, and follow her the rest of the way to the inside of the mansion. 

Val introduces me to the staff, including the drivers, some of the cleaners currently on-shift, and Chivis, the cook and family friend. Val beams with pride and love as she tells me how Chivis has practically raised her since her mum died. 

We see Dr. Navarro next. I get to meet her properly and thank her for fixing me up so efficiently and effectively. 

“It really is appreciated”, I say with gratitude. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if Val hadn’t brought me here to you”. I notice the Dr giving Val a cheeky glance after hearing me call her by a nickname. I turn to look at Val quickly and see an adorable blush gracing her cherub cheeks. 

STOP FALLING, JULIANA – I basically have to scream at myself in my head to release me from the intoxicating trance I fall into when around Val. 

“You’re very welcome. I’m here for anything you might need, no matter how small. TAD here and I have a special friendship and I am officially extending that to you too”. The Dr is such a caring woman, it makes me wonder why she stays such a toxic and dangerous environment. I make a mental note to ask Val about it later. 

“Well, CHATO”, Val emphasises the Drs nickname in a teasing manner in return. “we had better get going to see the rest of the house and settle in for the night”, they both laugh, and observing their relationship, I can already tell that the Dr has had monumental influence in Val’s upbringing. 

Val shows me the rest of the house and we finally reach her room, which I notice for the first time, is very conveniently right next to mine. 

We hover outside her door and I look at her expectedly. 

“Aren’t you going to show me your room?”, I tease.

“Oh. Yeah, okay. Sure”, I can tell this caught Val off guard as she seemed hesitant.

She opens the door and her smell hits me immediately. The room is immaculate and everything has its own home. 

I walk around her room and as I make my round, I think I realise why Val was so hesitant. Her wall is flooded with photos from her childhood. A cheerful infant Valentina graces almost every photo, and along with her adoring family. It’s a completely different dynamic to what I saw downstairs. 

I noticed the only difference between the family in the photos and the one I witnessed earlier is one extremely elegant and radiant woman. She must be Val’s mother. 

I can Val’s room is very intimate to her and I’m glad she decided to let me in. The more I learn about her, the deeper I trust her and the harder I fall. 

Sensing Val being quite tense, I walked over to her and looked at her full of gratitude to communicate how much I appreciate her being so open to me. 

“thank you for showing me this,” I practically whisper, “I love your room. VERY stylish”, I add on a lighter note.

We laugh together and walk back to my door.

“Goodnight Juls, sleep well”, Val smiles at me and I could melt.

“Goodnight Val, you too”, I smile back and I open my door while she walks the two steps back to hers.

We hold each other’s eyes until the very last second, and quietly close both of our doors.

In the privacy of my own room now, I lean against the door and take a deep breath. 

Valentina Carvajal - The Dark Angel of Mexico is stealing my heart and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.


	8. The Market

I wake up to a cool breeze drifting through my window. A deep breath later, I am opening my eyes to the prospect of a new day with Juliana. as I think of her, a warm sensation floods my chest and it takes everything I have, not to go to her room right now. 

I look to the clock and see it reads 6:45am – an early start for me, compared to other days at the moment where I can’t bring myself to get out of bed until 11, earliest. 

After about ten minutes of trying to force myself out of bed, I hear a small knock at me door. I get out of bed in my silk vest and shorts and make my way to my door.

I knew it could only be one of three people – Chivis, Chato, or Juls. They’re the only ones who would have the decency to knock.

Opening the door I see Juls standing there looking almost like a kid who’s had a nightmare. That is until she notices what I am wearing and blushes, seeing me so exposed. 

“Hey, sorry it’s so early”, she says with gaps, trying not to look or sound flustered. “I just couldn’t sleep so wanted to see if you were awake to start the day? If I’m honest, I’m a bit scared to go downstairs without you because of not being everyone’s favourite person right now”, she finished with a nervous laugh. All I can do is stare at her in adoration for a second before snapping myself out of it.

“No, that’s fine, don’t worry. I was up anyway and I don’t think anyone can blame you for being scared of my family. Hopefully you’ll all just become more comfortable with each other over time”, I try to reassure her that this situation won’t last forever. 

Juls silently nods in agreement at my last comment and gives a shy smile. 

I can’t get over how vulnerable she looks right now. It only makes me want to look after and protect her more. Part of me is glad she doesn’t want to go downstairs without me. Past girlfriends who DID go downstairs without me ended up running away from the house with bloody noses before I had even gotten out of bed, myself. 

In that moment my stomach erupts in a loud groan, expressing to the both of us clearly that I am absolutely starving.

“come, on”, I say while laughing, “let’s go get some breakfast”. Juliana follows me closely. 

As we walk down the stairs in silence and I think about mine and Juliana’s situation. There seems to be some kind of connection between us but I can’t imagine her giving me a chance for anything more because of who I am and what I do. I decide from here on out, I will be less full on with her. I’m going to try my hardest not to flirt with her because deep down I know I’m the one who’s going to get hurt when she rejects me. 

Eva, Guille and Leon aren’t awake yet so the house is peaceful with me, Juls, Chivis and Chato being the only ones awake. 

We make our way into the kitchen and see Chivis already preparing to make fresh rolls for everyone later. I gesture for Juls to take a seat, while I move to the other side of the kitchen counter and pretend to be her very own personal chef.

“So Juls, what can I get for you today? Can I interest you in some fruit? Coffee? Toast? What’ll it be?”, I finish with a wink. So much for not flirting.

Juls smiles at me and asks for fruit, so I decide to have the same. 

“How about we go eat these outside. It’s gorgeous out there and I can show you around properly?”

“yeah that sounds like a great idea! It will be nice to get some fresh air”, this making me remember that Juliana hasn’t been outside properly since Chino died, apart from the 10 minute exception, last night.

A pang of guilt strikes my cheat. I told Juls she wasn’t a prisoner here and hopefully she trusts and believes me by now. I might suggest going into town together later as my schedule is clear.

Apparently I looked deep in thought while cutting the fruit because next thing I knew, Juliana was behind me, taking the knife from my hand.

“Go sit down and let me cut, before you lose a finger” She smiles at me and all I can do is follow her every command – voluntarily, I might add.

Juls and I switch places and my eyes fall to her hands; which could have only been sculpted by the Gods, strategically cutting the fruit to make cute little hearts out of the watermelon. 

“what are you thinking so hard about?”, she snaps me out of my trance.

“nothing”, I smile at her and hope she doesn’t probe. I don’t want to have to try and explain what is so fascinating about her hands.

“no come on, something’s going on in there”, she giggles and points the knife at me, flopping her wrist. “don’t make me force it out of you”, she swirls the knife in a circle and narrows her eyes, adorably trying to be intimidating.

“it’s just- I um-“, I stutter. There’s no way I can tell her about her hands, she might feel uncomfortable. “you know you can go out don’t you?” – I’m technically not lying, I was thinking about this anyway. 

She looks at me puzzled, and puts the knife down. She thinks for a minute but then her face relaxes and she says “yeah, of course. You told me that already”, she finishes with a smile. 

“It’s just you haven’t left yet, or, I don’t know. I just really want to make sure you’re comfortable and know you’re not a prisoner”, I know I sound like a babbling mess but I don’t really care anymore.

“Val, we’ve already talked about this, I know I’m not a prisoner. If I want to leave, I will, trust me”, she laughs and I ease up a bit.

“Okay, well I was going to ask if you wanted to go into town with me today and get some coffee? Maybe go to the park? Anything other than this house”, I try to make it sound like I’d go anyway without her but I know I am borderline begging her to spend the day with me. “I mean, I don’t have to go with you, obviously, you could go by yourself if you want space, I don’t know. It’s up to you”. I really need to stop.

“Yeah that sounds lovely, of course you can come, you’re not such bad company you know”, she smiles charmingly and winks at me. Lord help me. “Hey, and we could tell your family you’ve taken me on a training job or something!”, she smirks and raises her eyebrows like she’s suggested something really dangerous and cheeky.

“yeah, that’s a good idea. We’re going to need a story to tell at dinner tonight though – no doubt Eva especially will probe about what and how you did”, we share a sympathetic look and nod in agreement while Juls goes back to cutting the fruit.

We finally make it to the garden after Chivis insisted on cutting the rest of the fruit fruit while Juls and I sit and wait.

“wow its huge! Last night I couldn’t even see 2 metres in front of me without any light I never knew it was so big!” Juls exclaimed, admiring the grounds of the mansion.

“yeah it’s big I guess. I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t come out here much”. I feel stupid I’ve had this garden my whole life and Juls is expressing so much excitement and awe toward something I’ve been taking for granted this whole time. I was reminded that Juls didn’t have a garden, she had the trailer and that was it. My heart melted as she plopped herself down on the grass and basked in the heat and freedom of the mansion’s grounds.

She placed the plate of fruit down carefully and patted the ground next to her, signalling me to join her. I hesitated at first, unsure of how to act. This wasn’t something I usually did and sharing such a tender moment with someone made me uneasy.

Up until now, one night stands and meaningless relationships have been all I’ve known so I am way out of depth here, but I’m going to try.

As soon as I was sat, she lay back on the grass and looked up at the sky.

I couldn’t help but to stare at her in complete bliss. Me in awe of her, and her in awe of the world. It was heaven.

I’ve never seen someone taking so much joy in just lying in the grass. Her stomach raised and lowered gently and consistently, with even, calming breaths that made me truly appreciate the cool, spring air for the first time in God knows how long. Watching Juliana being so peaceful triggered something in me and I decided I would spend a lot more time in the garden from now on.

I lay back and enjoyed the sun with her. 

No words were needed - we just lay in silence, admiring each other’s company and the current scenery. 

“when did you want to go to town”, Juls whispered after 10 minutes.

I turned to look at her side profile and admired it for a moment before replying, “whenever you want, I’m free all day”. Juls lay with her eyes closed and I could tell she was half asleep, letting herself relax and breathe properly. It was the first time I’d seen her so at ease and I basked in it.

We lay outside for another half an hour before I woke Juls up. We’d been out in the sun for way too long and I didn’t want her to burn. 

“Hey Juls,” I whispered at first. “Juls”, a little louder while poking her a little. “Julianaaaaaa”, I sang that time and her eyes gently fluttered open. Blinded by the sun at first, she squinted, but as she adjusted to the light she smiled tenderly at me.

“how long was I asleep?”, her voice after waking up was more addictive than any drug.

“about half an hour I think. I thought it wake you up so you don’t burn or anything”, I replied gently. “plus we didn’t eat the fruit, you need breakfast”, we both laughed at me babying her.

After we finished the fruit we headed back inside, by which time everyone was awake and wandering around the house. Thankfully Eva and Leon were out on a job already, but Guille was in the living room slouched on the sofa, which we had to walk past.

“Good morning ladies!”, we both scoffed at him. “Juliana baby! You forgot to visit me last night!”, he sneered.

Juls had to hold my hand to stop me from lunging on him and making him remember what happened at dinner last night because he had clearly forgotten.

“Guille shut the fuck up. What makes you think ANYONE would touch you and want to be touched by you, let alone Juls”. The nickname escaping my mouth earned a suspicious look with raised eyebrows from my brother. 

“Hermanita, you know the ladies can’t resist me!”, he exclaimed while wiggling his eyebrows and Juls. 

There was no point in talking to him any longer, so we left the room swiftly, still holding hands.

We made it back to our rooms, hands still clasped tightly to one another. 

“I really am sorry about him. Apparently I need to be more threatening in the future”, I apologised to Juls for the umpteenth time in the last 24 hours.

“Honestly Val, it’s fine. Well, I mean, it’s not FINE, but you don’t need to worry about it”, we both released pained laughs at the awkward situation. 

“I’ll tell one of the drivers the plan and I will meet you at your door in 20 minutes?”, I wanted to shower and change before heading into town and Juls decided to chill in her room until I was ready – her not feeling entirely comfortable being downstairs with Guille alone.

“sounds like a plan”, we smile at each other and release each other’s hands as we head into our separate rooms. 

Cut to half an hour later, Juls was knocking on my door wondering where I was. I had spent longer in the shower than I expected and was only just getting dressed.

“one second! Sorry I’ll be ready now!”, I shouted to the door, trying to get my t-shirt and jeans on.

“okay! I’ll just wait in my room for you!”, Juls shouted back.

A moment later I was tapping at Juls’ door. She told me I could come in and when I did the wind was knocked out of my lungs. Juls wasn’t wearing anything particularly special - she didn’t need it. Oh my god was she beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She wore a brown knitted jumper with blue jeans and black boots. She was breath-taking.

Apparently she didn’t mind what she saw either because while I was busy staring at her, she was busy staring at me too. I was wearing all black - boots, jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket – pretty much just what I wear every day, but apparently Juls likes it. She stood there, just as gob smacked as me.

“huhum”, I made a joke of clearing my throat to get her attention, “shall we go?”. She smiles bashfully at me and we made our way to the car that was waiting for us out front. 

The attraction Juls and I shared was becoming more and more obvious to me as the hours went on. Sat in the back of Alirio’s car with her, it was hard not to look at her or hold her hand. The whole time I had to try and focus on keeping me eyes pointed out the window and feign interest at what was happening on the street.

When we got to town, I got out first and held the door open for Juls. 

As soon as she got out of the car she was astounded. She’d never been to the market before, due to not having any money to spend there, so she was like a kid in a sweet shop. All the homemade, unique goods she was presented with got the better of her and she couldn’t make up her mind about where she wanted to go first. 

“hey I know it’s not a nice part of it but I need to go to the ammo shop quickly. Do you want to wait outside the shop or I come find you when I’m done?”, I tried to get Juls’ attention above all the music playing and large crowds flowing like water through the streets. 

“yeah I’m going to have a look around, maybe come find me when you’re done? I’ll try stay close so you can find me easily”. Juls was beaming with happiness and excitement and I couldn’t be happier with myself for bringing her here.

As I turned to leave Juls she looked apprehensive and almost intimidated by so much choice and the amount of people around her so I kept it in mind not to take too long getting ammo, and get back to her as soon as possible. 

I couldn’t have spent more than 15 minutes in the shop. The guy behind the counter wanted to try his luck with me, which made the process a lot longer than it needed to be, but once I told him who I was he soon took me seriously enough to actually serve me - instead of trying to hit on me. 

As I made my way back to where I left Juls and started to look through the stalls and hordes of people, Juls was nowhere to be seen. I started to panic a bit but tried to keep a level head. 

I was shocked at how fast my mind was spiralling. I was being completely irrational, but I didn’t care, I just needed to find Juls.

Why couldn’t I find her? Did she run away? Did someone take her?

Just as I was beginning to spiral even more, I turned around and found Juls in one of the art stalls, in awe of all the different types of paper and materials available to her. 

I snuck up on her and watched her silently for a moment, the panic having completely subsided. I decided to bask in her joy quickly and watch as her brows furrowed and raised in surprise and appreciation of what the woman behind the counter was telling her. 

Her eyes caught mine for a second and she almost ran to me, stealing everything she had in her hands. She managed to remind herself what she was doing and stopped herself before one of the guards clocked her. 

I made my way over to her and she was ecstatic. I couldn’t keep up with the words she was trying to say, but what I could tell was that she LOVED art and drawing. 

“I never knew you liked drawing Juls! You can get anything you want. My treat”, she looked at me confused as if I didn’t know what I was offering. She wouldn’t answer, so I handed her some money – enough to cover that shop twice over. This really took the air out of her lungs. 

“Val stop it. You can’t give me this”, she sounded very serious and I could tell this wasn’t something she was nonchalant about. I knew she didn’t have much money, but she seemed offended at the idea of having money as swell. “Val I’m serious. I can’t take this”. She spoke in such a serious tone, I knew I shouldn’t press this any harder. Her tone was laced with hurt and fragility and I decided it was a conversation for another time.

I didn’t understand why she was making such a big deal of nothing, though. I know equipment can be expensive but I wanted to treat her. Seeing her happy made me happy so why not.

“okay, don’t take the whole thing but at least get a book and some pencils?”, she seemed to soften at this.

She had this determined look in her eyes and I could tell she wasn’t going to take any shit from anyone - especially me right now. It was an exciting side to Juls I hadn’t seen before now.

We finished up at the market and made our way back to the house in the back of Alirio’s car. Juls was silent the whole time, and a stubborn expression graced her face. 10 minutes went by and I didn’t say a word, but it got to the point where I couldn’t stand not knowing what was going on inside her head.

“what’s wrong”, I asked gently while looking at her with concern flooding my eyes.

“nothing.”, she answered bluntly, the tenderness I witnessed earlier on the grass and in the stalls had completely dissipated.

“well obviously something’s wrong?”, I tried pushing her to tell me.

We stayed silent for a moment - me watching her patiently, waiting for her to open up to me, and her sat there with her arms folded across her body in a huff.

“just tell me what’s wrong”, I pushed again and Juls snapped to look at me abruptly in her seat.

“you can’t just give me massive wads of money Valentina! I’m not some charity case! It’s bad enough I’m living with you for free I can’t take advantage of you like that! I won’t!”, Juls practically screamed in my face.

I just stayed silent until we got to the house.

Nothing eventful happened at dinner and Juls and I didn’t breathe a word to each other the whole time. 

Eva tried making snide remarks but I was too drained of energy to even give her a nasty look. Thankfully she didn’t ask about our days, as we hadn’t had chance come up with a story yet.

Juls and I both went to bed silently, without saying goodnight to each other. The whole night I was thinking over what Juls had said. She must know I don’t see her as a charity case? I’m just trying to help her. Maybe the bulk of money was a bit excessive but she didn’t need to blow up in my face like that.

I think I’m going to talk to her more about it tomorrow. I’m not trying to have any kind of control over her but she has to know she can’t talk to me like that in front of other people. After she had exploded, I noticed Alirio giving me a shocked look in the wind mirror. I have to maintain the hierarchy or this is never going to work. 

Obviously she can talk to me however she wants and she can scream and shout in my face all she wants, but only in private - for now at least. Eva would have her thrown out or even killed in a second. 

I go to sleep with Juliana consuming my mind again, but this time for the wrong reasons. I’m dreading the discussion we need to have tomorrow but it has to be done. I just hope we can sort this out and get back on track.

The day had been a roller coaster and I welcomed sleep gladly - slowly being enveloped by a dream of Juls letting me look after, and serve her for the rest of my life.


	9. Worth

A couple of weeks had passed since I spoke to Juls about how she should address me in front of other people. I hated having to “put her in her place”, she should be next to me, as an equal; but its what needs to happen to keep everyone around us none-the-wiser about who she really is. 

We have to uphold his façade to keep her safe. To be fair to Eva, she had managed to behave herself and not harass Juls the passed couple of weeks – she must have found something else to torture, seeing as she wasn’t getting much of a reaction out of Juls.

Truth be told, she has been really quiet and reserved with me since the talk, more so than necessary. She avoids me and when I do talk to her or see her, it’s not the same before.

One day I suggested I teach Juls some basic combat. She’s meant to be in “training” as part of the big lie I told my family after all, so we may as well get something useful out of it, and Juls gets to be more independent and not feel so much like such a damsel in distress. She can defend herself and there’s security in that.

She agreed, but we still hadn’t had a session yet, so I decided to try and push for it to happen today. 

It was 8 am when I decided to make my way to Jul’s room. I tapped on the door lightly and in a matter of seconds, Juls was opening the door with only an expression of tolerance gracing her face. I was determined for this to be the day I make things right between us. The impact of having Juls distant from me was greater than I could have ever anticipated and I hated it. 

“Morning Juls! Wanna get some breakfast and start that training today?”, I tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, praying that Juliana was in a good mood today. 

“Morning Val. Um yeah sure, I guess. I was going to draw some more today but yeah sounds good”. She sounded so reluctant, I hated it. For the past couple weeks, in our distancing, Juls had been drawing a lot. She would sit or lie in the garden on the large expanse of grass, and draw the clouds of the flowers and vegetation littered around the grounds. 

One morning I walked past the large windows featured in the main living room, on my way to my office. I saw Juls sat by the pool, swinging her feet in the cool water and looking off into the distance. I had to stop in my tracks to take in the sight. She looked so calm and peaceful, but yet riddled with contemplation; as if she was at war with herself and just needed someone to hold her and show her the way out of the fog. 

I couldn’t be that person for her. 

Not right now.

No matter how much I wanted it. 

“Okay great! Are you ready to head down now?”, I asked trying to be as enthusiastic and cheerful as possible.

“uh yeah, go down without me I’ll just get changed real quick”. I hate the apprehension in her voice but I made my way downstairs and waited for her, silently sat at the dining table. 

After 15 minutes, Juls came swanning into the dining room, wearing leggings and a crop top. The wind was knocked out of my stomach and I choked on my breath. She turned to look at me sharply and for the first time today her features softened and she giggled at my panicked state; obviously enjoying the effect she had on me.

We sat and had breakfast almost silently. Juliana was obviously put out by the conversation we had had. I was just happy to see her smiling in my direction again to he honest. The last couple of weeks faded away and Juls was slowly returning to how she was before. No words were needed during breakfast, we just enjoyed each other’s company, occasionally stealing glances and shy smiles.

We finish out breakfasts and make our way to the home gym – a large room next to the swimming pool which has mats for flooring and several weight machines along with other equipment. 

“okay, so, I think we’re going to start with some self-defence moves, see how you do, and then maybe we’ll get to the harder stuff a little later on”, I say to Juls, walking through the door to the gym.

As I turn, I see Juls standing there, fists in the air, jumping from one foot to the other in a comical manner “come on, I can handle it, show me what you got”. 

“woah, slow down tiger. One thing at a time”, I laugh at her and tell her to get in position with her dominant foot in front of the other, with a side stance, much like the one you see in boxing. 

Her feet aren’t right so I go down to her legs and move her feet to where they should be. I also correct her shoulders and tell her to hold herself strongly, like a brick wall. 

“okayyyyy! I think we’re going to start with a simple groin kick”, I eye her carefully as I see excitement gleam in her eyes. “this one is pretty simple – I’m going to stand here and move toward you slowly. As I step, you are going to bring your knee up, elongate your leg and target my groin with your shin”. Juls looks a little confused and I don’t think she was really listening properly, so I tell her I will demonstrate first. “okay just walk toward me slowly”. she looks at me timidly. “I’m not going to hurt you okay? The whole point of this is to stop you from getting hurt”.

Juls calms, I get into position, and she starts moving toward me slowly. As she approaches I raise my knee slowly, as if the whole attack and defence is being played in slow motion. My shin stops before it makes contact to her groin and she giggles. 

“right. So, that’s how you do that”, I look up to her eyes smiling. “now you try it on me. Exactly the same, just reversed roles. Got it?”

“got it”, she replies with determination.

“okay let’s go”.

We repeat the move several times until we are moving as if the incident is real and I am pleased with her progress and confidence in her capability. 

“okay! That’s really good Juls! I think we’ll try something a bit harder now”, I say with a wink. Juls looks so accomplished and pleased with herself. A feeling of pride ripples through my body and it makes me realise just how much I have missed having her close these last few weeks. “okay we’re going to do a choke hold so if you come up behind me and put your right arm around my neck”. 

Juls moves to position herself but she isn’t holding a hard enough grip. It’s as if her arm is just resting on my shoulder.

“No, Juls, you’ve got to really trap me. Do it harder”

“I am doing it harder!”, she doesn’t sound secure and sure of herself at all.

“Juls you’re not going to hurt me, trust me. Just do it as hard as you can”, she finally stiffens her grip and she now has a proper hold around my neck.

“okay good. Now see that I am putting my chin down? You need to do this. Close your chin before the arm is properly around your neck so that your neck isn’t in direct contact with the arm – you can’t be choked”. I feel her nod and I continue. “now, take your other hand and hold your hand to make a circle around my head. I am going to grab your arm and move my body to the side”, I demonstrate and she seems to be taking everything in so I continue again. “now I am going to bring my left hand back, as I step to the side, and strike your groin. 

The attacker will bend because of the pain, and as they do that, you are going to elbow them in the chin with that same left arm. They will let you go, due to the blows and that’s your chance to escape okay?”

“uhhhh. Yeah, okay”, she sounds apprehensive.

“come on, let’s try it. It’s a lot of steps, I know, but you’ll get it”

We did the move again and again until she got it and she was more confident with it.

“I think we’ll do one more and then go back inside for lunch and you can get back to drawing?”

“yeah sounds good”. We nod at each other and I lie on the floor, motioning for her to join me.

“okay so you’re going to use this one if someone is on top of you and you want to get free”, she doesn’t move so I encourage her more. “come on Valdes, get between my legs”, I tease with a wink and she relaxes enough to follow my lead.

Juls sits on her knees at my thighs and I bend my knees around her waist. I tell put on of her hands around my neck. She does so, but too gently.

“Rougher Juls”

“Okay!”, I can tell she’s getting fed up with herself for being too gentle; she increases her pressure tenfold. Now she is holding me properly, I can show her how exactly to get out of a rougher situation.

We walk through the steps and I end up with her arm in a position in which I could break it easily, if I wanted. 

We switch and she does the move perfectly.

The second time we do it however, she slips and I end up falling straight onto her. I manage to hold my hands out in time however, so I am now practically lying on her, faces barely inches apart. We breathe the same air and her breath hitches. 

She looks into my eyes carefully, first with panic to the close proximity, but then she relaxes and starts to examine my face. She finds no discomfort there so relaxes further. 

Our eyes are connecting now and I get lost in her dark chocolate orbs, staring into infinity in her eyes. 

Her eyes flicked to my lips and back up to my eyes. They danced over my facial features, but ultimately always return to my eyes. 

I take my cue and started to lower myself toward her face - our shared breaths getting shallower and more frequent.

Before making that final stretch, my eyes flick to hers one last time. I see her eyes glued to my lips. 

It’s going to take everything I have in me to stop myself from kissing her right now. But I have to.

I take a deep breath and gently raise myself back up. I watch Juliana slightly chase my lips, not quite believing the moment is ending. 

I clear my throat once I am completely out of Jul’s magnetic bubble. I sit with my knees to my chest and stare at the floor. 

I can feel her eyes boring into me, asking the silent question of why.

I could slap myself I am so stupid. Why Valentina, WHY? 

For literally over a month now, I have been yearning for this raven haired beauty and just when I have her in my arms, ready to restore all peace in my mind, I back out. 

I can’t look at her as we both sit there in silence and after a moment I rise to my feet and work up the courage to look at her. 

I hold out my hand to help her up and offer her a gentle, apologetic smile. She looks completely numb; that intense look of contemplation invading her face once again, just like the one I saw the other day when she was sat at the pool. 

All I want to do right now is take back pulling away. I want to kiss all of her pain away in one foul swoop and never let anything evil touch her ever again - but that is exactly why I pulled away.

I know that deep down, I am not what Juls wants; I’m not what she needs. I’m no good for her. When I look at her, I see the life we could have if I wasn’t who I am. My family is implosive. She would be destroyed from the inside out and what kind of life is that? I fear she would grow to resent me and the choices she made.

I can’t do that to her. I won’t. 

I’m not worth it.


	10. Invasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a violence warning

We almost kissed. I almost kissed val. Val almost kissed me. She pulled away and I chased her. I chased her. how stupid can I be?!

These are the thoughts that invaded my mind as I lay awake begging for slumber to return and swallow me whole. I wished I didn’t have to face the day and look into Val’s eyes, knowing what almost happened yesterday.

I am forced to engulf myself with the bed sheets, in a feeble attempt at avoiding the inevitable. 

This is ridiculous. So what if we almost kissed? It doesn’t have to mean anything! Friends kiss all the time...

Ugh no they don’t Juliana, stop being such an idiot.

After almost an hour of contemplation and internal war, I decide I need to get up. If I see Val, I see Val. There’s nothing I can do about it. There’s no point in running and hiding from this. I’ll just try and keep my head down and ears closed. It shouldn’t be too hard.

My plan goes to shit when Val and I open our doors and the same time and our eyes lock as we both step out of our rooms. 

Val goes to say something but her words never escapes. She closes her mouth in defeat and offers pained eyes. 

“Morning”, Val’s voice rings through the air after moments of silence.

My words escape me, so I offer a slight smile and gesture for her to walk down the corridor before me.

She picks up on my cue, nods defeated, and turns to make her way downstairs.

When she turns, I take the deep breath I didn’t realise I was holding, and I silently scold myself for letting Val have such an intense and overwhelming effect on me. 

She’s consumed my every thought and I can’t stand it. I don’t fall in love, it’s not what I do.

I’m too used to people letting me down and leaving, so I made a promise to myself years ago to never let anyone too close. 

Why is Val the exception?

She senses I haven’t moved, so turns on her heel at the top of the stairs and calls back at me to wake me from my trance.

“you coming Juls?”, her voice so velvety sweet and calming, as her words roll off her tongue like steady waves of the ocean. 

“yeah”, the only word I manage to get out, as I panic. 

We both find ourselves sat at the dining table with breakfast in front of us, much like yesterday – the silence enveloping us, but in a bad way this time around. It’s so easy to find peace in Val’s silence but like most other times, I crave to hear her voice. I want to be consumed by it.

“what do you think about a swim today Juls?”, I guess my plan of avoiding her as much as possible is completely out the window now. I can never say no.

“yeah sure. Sounds like a plan, Stan!”, Jesus Juliana what the hell was that? Just calm down.

Val giggles as she lowers her head to concentrate on her cereal; playing with her spoon in the milk, watching it drip off the cold metal.

Suddenly Guille comes storming into the room, screaming into his phone.

“you really think I give a fuck how you lost it?! All that matters is that you suck at your job. You better watch out next time I see you. I swear to god you better watch your back Lucho! You’re on thin ice boy! You’d be lucky if I don’t come down there right now and put a bullet between those eyes of yours”, I have never heard his voice so low and authoritative. “And tell that dad of yours to fuck off too! For too long the both of you have been fucking everything up, and I’ve had to come along and clear up your messes! SORT IT!”.

Guille hangs up, throws his phone across the room and slumps into Leon’s chair at the head of the table.

After watching his fit of rage, my gaze returns to Val. I see her visibly more stiff than he was before Guille entered. 

She clears her throat before attempting to talk. “Lucho?”, she practically whispers to Guille, her voice laced with fear.

“Yes Val. That fucking idiot just managed to fuck up one of the biggest deals this year!”, Guille obviously completely oblivious to Val’s tone and vulnerable eyes. 

“I um… I didn’t know he still works for us. I thought dad got rid of him”, I watch Val closely now, trying to work out what is going on in her beautiful brain.

I had never seen her so uneasy before. Val really is the kind of person that has their shit together and takes control of any situation, no matter how sticky. She has this charisma and charm, but also wit and sarcastic nature, that all make the one big lethal combination that is Valentina Carvajal. 

Seeing her so off-guard and vulnerable made me nervous and all I wanted to do in this moment is fight off whatever is making her feel that way.

We stayed silent for the rest of breakfast, with Guille 3rd wheeling still sat at Leon’s chair, dramatically attacking his phone with his thumbs. Anyone would think he’s telling someone else off but really he’s just playing Candy Crush.

Every now and then, I’d look up to see Val lost in her own thoughts. Whoever this Lucho was, he must’ve left some scars. By the looks of things, Guille didn’t know either. 

Despite the Carvajal’s being rough, and practically threatening each other’s lives daily, they’re fiercely loyal and protective when it comes to outsiders. I’m sure that if Guille knew the whole story, Lucho would be dead already. I don’t know what happened, but I can see the impact it has had on Val and it’s tearing me up inside. 

“Um, I think I’m going to go lie down in bed. I don’t feel too good”, Val excused herself from the table and was off in a flash.

The moment she left, Guille turned to me and graced me with his “charm”.

“So, Juls” God I hated my name on his lips. “You, me, it’s inevitable. Why don’t we-“, he couldn’t even finish his sentence before I was up from the table, running to catch up with Val.

“Val!”, I race through the house trying to reach her before she has chance to lock herself away from me physically and emotionally. 

It’s insane just how big this house is. You don’t realise it until you’re having to get from point A to B as quick as possible. 

It doesn’t help that Val moves like a panther, silent in the night.

I spot Val just as she’s at the top of the stairs, just metres away from her door. I hurl myself up the stairs but it turns out it was unnecessary seeing as Val stopped due to all the commotion I was causing. 

I reach the her, heaving. 

“Val… I… ugh, okay just give me one second. WOW”, I am stood with my hands on my knees, gasping for breath. Wow I really need to work out more.

“That was a little dramatic Juls, I heard you when you called the first time. I was just going to wait here for you anyway”, Val admits, giggling at the sight of me.

I get my breath back and I try to hold onto that light hearted Val, the one that makes my heart swoon with one look. The one that makes me fall harder than ever before, but lifts me higher at the same time. 

“I just-“ another breath “I just wanted to check that you’re alright”, I eye her carefully. “you seemed distant down there when Guille mentioned that guy”, she looks at me with a blank expression as if she’s waiting for me to get to my point. “I’ve never seen you like that, it kind of worried me”, I feel silly to admit.

“Juls I’m fine trust me”, she didn’t sound convincing at all.

“Val I just want you to know you can talk to me. About anything. I’m here”. I felt as though she needed to hear the reassurance. Because of what happened yesterday, we don’t really know what to expect from each other. Val means to much to me to just let her slip through my hands like that. It’s impossible even - she is literally ALL I think about. 

“Juls, trust me. Let it go. I don’t know everything about you, you don’t know everything about me. Some things should just be left unknown”. Her words hit me in the chest. They weren’t venomous, they weren’t mean, they were just disappointing. I craved to know every single detail about her, but she obviously didn’t reciprocate. 

We stared at each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity. 

She turned to walk away abruptly, making her way to her room.

My head hung low and I tried to make sense of my situation – exactly how I felt about her, try to work out exactly how she felt about me, and how I could possibly make her mine. 

She reached her door and just as she put her hand on the door knob she turned to look at me; sorrow and regret swimming in her eyes. We make eye contact again.

She opens her mouth to say something but just before any sound comes out, a deafening gunshot rings through the mansion and my hands find themselves trying to protect my ears from the noise.

Living with Chino, I’d heard gunshots before. But never like this. The sound bounced and swept through the mansion like a tsunami. The marble flooring and multitude of corridors assisted the blast.

Eyes closed and hands to my ears, I stood there like a deer in headlights completely none the wiser at what to do next.

When I opened my eyes I saw Val rushing toward me, and ushering me into her room. She sat me on the bed and went to one of her storage units. Something clicked and a secret drawer was unlocked. 

The whole time she was doing- whatever she was doing, I was panicking, asking her a million questions at once. It must have just been white noise to her though, as she didn’t answer a single one. 

“I mean maybe it was Guille, or your dad, or Eva. It doesn’t have to mean anything serious? Right!?”, I rambled as Val turned around with 3 guns. She checked the guns were fully loaded, placed one next to me on the bed and put the other two in her belt - which always had holsters, ready to be occupied. 

“No, we have a rule. No shooting in the house. No exceptions”. She ran to her computer and logged into the house security system. I rushed to stand behind her and observe each room, just as she did. The drive way was littered with black cars, much like the one’s the Carvajal’s drivers use, but you could tell they weren’t theirs. Along with the cars was a swarm of armed men at the doorstep.

“Shit. SHIT!”. If Val was this concerned, I sure as shit should be too. Who the hell are they?

“okay Juls, um I’m gonna need you to stay here. Promise me you’ll stay here”. I could only look at her, dumbfounded and expressionless. Everything was moving so fast. “JULS PROMISE ME!”, her shouting snapped me out of it and I slowly nodded. 

She made her way to the door and told me to lock it behind her. 

“Keep an eye on the CCTV to see if anyone comes up to the door. If they do, shoot”, how could she be so calm and level headed right now? “and whatever you see me to do on there, or whatever you see happen to me? Do not leave this room. You got that?”, speechless, again, I was frozen. 

Val rushed to me, cupped my face with her tender hands and looked me directly in the eyes.

“Juls. Hey Juls, come on, listen to me. Focus”. My eyes joined hers and I nodded lightly. “I need to get out there. I need to help my dad and Guille. All you need to do is stay here and stay safe. Okay?”. I heard her words in an endless echo but managed to take the instruction. 

Val kissed me on the forehead and turned to make strides to the door. Before she could get too far, everything caught up with me and I grabbed her wrist. I tugged her into a soul crushing hug. I held her as close and tight as possible. She held me, safe in her arms. We were in our own bubble, everything else fading away. We made the most of holding each other while we could.

“come back. Go do what you have to do, and come back to me, okay?”, I couldn’t hold the tears back now. The gravity of the situation dawned on me and I realised I might never see Val again. What if they killed her? 

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she gently pulled away, looked me in the eyes, kissed my cheek and rushed to the door.

“Lock it, Juls. Remember to lock it”. And with that, she was gone. 

All I could do was stay idle in this stupid room and watch as Val and everyone in the house risked their lives, except for me.

I felt helpless. I wanted Val to be here with me. I wanted to be there with Val. I just wanted to do something, other than be a liability. 

As soon as she left, I rushed to lock the door and grabbed the gun. 

I’d used a gun before, thankfully. It’s one of the few things Chino taught me – other than how to take a beating and get back up again to do his dishes. 

I returned to Val’s computer and watched as she moved through the house swiftly, taking out as many men as she could as she made her way to Leon and Guille in the living room. 

The Carvajal’s didn’t have many men on duty at their home. They had the security guards and some of their right hand men littered through the house, but they were outnumbered against the invaders. It was 50 to 20. We had to be smart if we were going to make it out alive. 

Thankfully a lot of the infiltrators were sloppy and cocky, thinking they had already won, so they were easy to eliminate. Val had already taken out about 7 on her way to her family. 

More gunshots rang out through the house. I just had to close my eyes for a second and carry on. It was torture watching Val and her family risk their lives while I sat here like some princess in a tower. 

My heart sank for Chivis, who I saw cowering in the kitchen, trying to stay hidden. 

Thankfully, Leon saw her and ushered her into some kind of secret room, it looked like? 

He did something to the shelves, ushered her forward, and then she was gone. I guess that’s good to know about and investigate in the future. 

Val and the others seemed to be doing well with depleting the invader’s numbers. 

They decided to split up so Val took the living room, Leon the kitchen and Guille the hallway - lord knows where Eva is.

Things took a turn for the worst though, more invaders came and they couldn’t handle it. Before they knew it, they were individually surrounded in their rooms.

Val had hungry men surrounding her, ogling her body and degrading her, telling her what they’ll do with her once they take the house. I couldn’t stand it. I checked the other rooms, Guille and Leon seemed to be taking back control of their rooms, it was just Val in the thick of it now. I watched her try to shoot but she was out of bullets.

No way was I just going to sit here and watch her fall. 

My heart racing, beating out of my chest, I gathered the courage to leave the room and fight for Val. 

Halfway down the corridor, I felt a gun to the back of my neck. 

“Stay quiet and I won’t shoot you… just yet”, I could hear the guy’s smirk in his statement. I winced as he pushed me forward, forcing me to walk downstairs, with his gun still to my neck. I don’t know what happened but by the time I was downstairs, Leon and Guille were on their knees with two men pointing guns at their heads, Val nowhere to be seen.

“Juliana-“, Guille muttered, almost sounding worried about me. 

“Hello Carvajals!” the man behind me bellowed. He took the mask I didn’t know he was wearing. As soon as the item was tossed to the floor, I saw Guille and Leon’s breath hitch.

“Lucho”, Leon snarled. 

“found this little rat coming out of the princesses room! Where is the princess anyways? Is this her new toy?”, Lucho waved his gun around and gestured to me as he finished.

The guy was clearly unstable. I tried to stay as still and quiet as possible, not wanting the child with the gun to enter another tantrum. 

“what do you think boys? Shall I kill the bitch? Put a bullet right between those pretty eyes of hers?” – imitating what Guille had shouted at him down the phone, earlier today. I couldn’t hold back the tears now. God where the hell was Val? If I was going to die right now, I just want to see her one more time and know she’s okay. That’s all I want. The chance to say goodbye. 

“a count down, if you would be so kind lads!” the remaining 3 of his men started counting down from 3 and I couldn’t believe this was my reality. 

“3!”, deep breaths Juliana, It’ll be over soon.

“2!”, God I wish I could see Val one last time.

“1!”, here we go.

The loudest shot rang out in my ears and darkness consumed me.


	11. Tranquillity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this half asleep so sorry if it sucks ;)

Before I knew it, I was surrounded by the invaders. Leon and Guille and me had split up and I was now up against 5 men twice my size.

Where the fuck was Eva!?

I made every shot count and managed to take down one brute down per bullet - that is until right now. I pulled the trigger and nothing came. I was out of bullets. 

The beasts around me snarled and made threats, kindly describing in detail all the things they would do to me, now that I was theirs for the taking. 

There was nothing else to do so I slowly rose from my cover, hands in the air in surrender. 

The fuckers looked so pleased with themselves. It made me sick. 

Just as they started approaching me, Dr Navarro and my best friend Sergio burst into the room with backup. Chato must have run and called for help when the first shot was fired. 

I can never overestimate her worth or take her for granted. She always finds a way to save me.

The men approaching me fell to the ground in an instant, Chato and Sergio not giving them a moment to even acknowledge they had entered the room. 

They had about 20 of our finest waiting to attack. God I loved them.

“Vale oh my god I’m so glad you’re okay!”, the Dr ran to me and hugged me. “when I didn’t see you with the others I thought I’d find you dead!”

“a lovely thought, thank you Chato!”, even in times like this I can’t help but be light-hearted.

“Vale come on, we need to go to the others. We scoped the place and they have your dad, Guille and some girl trapped. I’m pretty sure they’re going to shoot”, Sergio chimed in, reminding us of the situation.

“Juliana!? I told her to wait in my room! What the hell is she thinking?”, I made a move to run off, to the hallway but Chato stopped me.

“Beau you can’t just go charging in there, they’ll kill you at first sight”.

I assessed the scene discretely, hidden behind a corner. When my I laid my eyes on Lucho my breath hitched. Fear struck me and I found myself frozen for a moment. However, seeing him holding Juls like that, about to kill her, snapped me out of it immediately. I made a plan.   
“of course it would be fucking Lucho. Right okay, you lot cover the idiots aiming guns at my family. I’ll take the back passage and get behind that prick”. The others nodded and followed my lead. 

Everyone managed to discretely position themselves behind corners - hidden to the invaders and ready to shoot them on my cue.

Lucho started encouraging a countdown and I knew I had to act fast. I could never forgive myself if I let Juls go. Not like this. Not ever. 

“3”… I need to think fast, come on Valentina!

“2”. It’s risky but it’ll have to do.

“1!”

I shot the lights out. 

We were enveloped in darkness.

Lucho and his men were stumbling around trying to work out what had happened, and gain control of the situation again.

I raced to where Lucho and Juls were stood and grabbed Juls to pull her to the side. 

My shooting of the lights out triggered my men, Chato and Sergio to shoot. Lucho’s men were taken out and that just left the imp himself, alone, sobbing on his knees, begging for his life. 

“Juls, it’s me. You’re okay”, I tried to calm her down, whispering in her ear but she was hyperventilating. “I promise Juls, I’m coming back. I just need to make sure Lucho’s dealt with. Breathe, tranquila Juls”.

With that, I left her side. I wanted more than anything to right there with her and coo her to tranquillity while I held her close, but I couldn’t do that right now. I had to make that asshole pay and make sure my family is okay. 

I told them not to kill him. I was gonna have some fun with this. 

Everything Lucho had done to me, everything he was going to do to Juls and my family – it was all going to catch up with him. I couldn’t wait. 

Once I instructed that Lucho be tied up and held under close observation, I returned to Juls’ side. 

She was sat round the corner, where I had been hiding from Lucho. 

She was curled up in a ball, knees to her chest – protecting herself from the world.

I lay my hands on hers that were holding her knees tight. At my touch she flinched and my heart clenched. She looked up at me, eyes drowning in tears. The sight put a dagger through my chest. 

“Bebe, it’s me. I’m so sorry Juls, I’m so sorry you got caught up in this”, my voice wavering with all the emotion catching up to me. I couldn’t hold my tears back. Once they started, there’s no chance they could be stopped. Juls almost died because of that dickhead and I couldn’t help but hold myself responsible. I couldn’t never live with myself if something had happened to her and the thought of losing her consumed me. 

I expected some form of resentment or cold shoulder from her but I got the opposite.

Her eyes connected with mine and she lunged forward, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. It was everything either of us needed in that moment – to hold each other, neither wanting to ever let go. 

The both of us being able to find comfort in each other’s arms, knowing the other was safe and out of the woods. 

I’m not sure how long we held each other but after some time, we were separated by Leon’s voice reassuring us that the coast was completely clear and Lucho was being held in one of our confinement rooms. 

We kept them in the basement and they were completely reinforced with bulletproof glass – practically impenetrable.

I guided Juls to the living room, still holding her close as we sank into the sofa. 

I will never underestimate the love Chivis has for this family and the strength she possesses. Before anyone could even comprehend all that had just happened, along the gravity of what could have happened, Chivis was there, already with a tray of fresh tea and biscuits to calm us and kick-start our systems again. That woman was a saint and no one could ever even come close to holding her value in this family and household. Too many times, she has been the glue that held us all together – the strong willed abuela that would pinch our ears and force   
us to reconcile if she had to. 

Being here, holding Juls, surrounded by the people I care most about after having survived such an ordeal made me so appreciative of everything I had.

It strikes me just how hard this has hit us. You’d think being a mob would make us harder with our feelings - that this is something we would be accustomed to - but it’s entirely the opposite. My family loves hard. Once you’re in, you’re in until the end. They might be the most ruthless and brutal killers in Mexico, but they can never be faulted on their loyalty and dedication to each other. That is, all but one.

Just on cue, Eva tumbles through the front door. Everyone’s hazed gases narrow in on her and our looks speak a thousand words. She visibly cowers away from our harsh stares until she forces her legs to move again, bringing herself to charge out of our sight. 

Nothing in the world could make me move from Juls’ embrace in this moment so I let my father and brother chase her for an explanation as to where she was tonight. 

Chivis, the wonder that she is, went back to cooking dinner as if nothing had ever happened – just that now, there were bullet holes in her pans. 

This left Juls and I alone in the living room, still snuggled in, as close to each other as we possibly could be – constantly needing the reassurance that we actually survived and that this is real. She is here. I am here. We’re safe, together. 

Minutes pass, the both of us staring off into the distance, thinking about what could have been, had Chato and Sergio not shown up. I know it’s bad to dwell on what-ifs, but I can’t force my mind elsewhere. That is until I feel soft puffs of air on my shoulder. 

I glance down to see Juls peaceful as ever, in blissful slumber. A warm sensation floods my stomach as I watch her gentle features twitch and stir in her sleep. I know it’s creepy but I’ve only been lucky enough to see Juls sleep so peacefully on a few occasions, so I bask in the tranquillity. I can’t bring myself to tear my eyes away.

My trance is interrupted by the sound of distant shouting – my father at my sister, my sister at my brother – it’s never ending. It’s a problem for tomorrow, thought. 

Right now Juls is my only concern, my every thought, my only muse. 

Chivis calls everyone for dinner but I’ve lost all appetite. I gently and gradually rouse Juls from her sleep so she doesn’t go to bed hungry. I would sit through dinner with her if she was hungry; not ever wanting to lose this close contact.

When she comes round, she tells me she isn’t hungry either, so we make our way up to our rooms, burrowing into each other’s sides as we walk. 

I leave her in her room, with the promise of bringing some chocolate biscuits and milk for the both of us.

Returning to her room, I find her sat at the head of the bed, stuck staring into space. I know the feeling all too well. I know that in times like this, lost in your own mind, people either tend to want to be left completely alone, or to never feel the bitter cold of an empty room again. 

“Here, Juls”, I gesture for her to take her milk and plate of biscuits.

“Thanks Val”, she says as I sit on the bed, facing her and taking a sip of my milk.

I watch her as her puzzled gaze remains attached to one particular spot on the wall and we finish our milk and biscuits in welcomed silence. I say goodnight to Juls, still completely dormant, and take her empty cup and plate back down to the kitchen. 

Looking around at the walls and debris scattered on the floor, I know tomorrow is going to be a pain. I just want to go to bed and not wake up for a week. Odds are though, as soon as my head hits my pillow, all hopes of rest tonight will dissipate.

My prediction was correct. Dragging myself to bed, I was exhausted – but now here I am, my mind racing with the day’s events and the what-ifs return.

A gentle knocking at my door breaks my inner turmoil.

“Yes?”, I call to the person waiting on the other side of the door.

It slowly opens and there stands Juls - that “sad, lost little girl” face hijacking her features.

I sit up in bed as she remains stood at the doorway, obviously not sure what to do next.

“Juls? You okay?”, bit of a stupid question Valentina, but alright.

She looks up at me and my heart aches for her. She didn’t ask for this. Any of it. She didn’t deserve any of this mess.

“I can’t sleep”, is all that escapes her mouth.

I get out of bed to join her in the doorway. 

“me neither”, I offer a pained, but sympathetic smile.

My hand slips into hers and I nod my head in the direction of my bed.

“do you want to sleep in here with me?”. In any other circumstance the question would seem too direct and untoward, with mixed implications making things complicated - but in this moment there is no confusion in the reasoning behind my invitation. Turns out Juls, like me, is one of the people that never wants to be left alone again after a traumatic event.

She nods and we make our way to my bed. She lays on the side closest to my window, and me to the door. 

After moment of silence – her lying on her side, facing the window, and me finding interest in the bland, unremarkable ceiling, Juls breaks the silence.

“Val?”, she whispers.

I hum in response.

“Could you hold me?”. Her voice is so fragile. 

No more words are needed. I position myself behind her, taking the role of the big spoon. I bring my hand over her waist and she raises her hand to connect with mine, once again. 

The constant contact sparks comfort and tranquillity within the both of us and the impossible happens. 

Within minutes, we are both releasing soft, steady breaths and letting sleep swallow us whole; always safe, as long as we are in our own little bubble.


	12. Strip

It’s funny having such a peaceful night’s sleep considering everything that happened yesterday. It doesn’t feel real that we went through all of that. 

I knew the Carvajal’s were dangerous but I was never expecting to be so in the cross fire – literally. 

I stir in my sleep and gradually return to the real world. 

It’s so easy to forget that there are billions of people out there, waking up every day and living their lives. The thought overwhelms me for some reason. Everyone, everyday wakes up and has that moment of lying in bed, mentally preparing for the day. Even if it’s only for a split   
second. Its something we all do. All 7.7 billions of us.

My moment of that happens to come before Valentina’s this morning. Her arm still draped over my torso, holding me close and making me feel the safest I have in years. 

I gently stroke my hand up and down her arm, taking full advantage of this moment of peace before the day is forced on us. 

I manage to turn over in her arms without causing her to wake up. I want to take in her peaceful exterior before anything has chance to ruin that slight smile she holds while she sleeps. 

Her delicate puffs of air, steady and persistent are adorable. Everything about this woman is captivating and enchanting. I can’t even try to deny it anymore – I’ve got it bad and I can never imagine myself wanting to be free of her spell. 

If she’s in, I’m in.

Her face contorted and warped to express discomfort. She must be having a bad dream.

In complete contrast to yesterday, I’m in a playful mood and I put that completely down to being in Valentina’s embrace.

I try my luck and carefully poke her nose, just enough to make her scrunch it up, and for her to bring her hand to her face. I cant help but giggle at her adorable nature.

I don’t even get the chance to dwell on everything that happened yesterday, before Val’s beautiful pools of ocean flutter open and lock with mine.

My breath hitches at her intense gaze and I find myself at a complete loss for words, yet again.

She breaks out into an embarrassed smile and hides her face in my neck, pulling me closer, never wanting to let go.

“Morning hermosa”, her morning voice is raspy and just like that, I have a new addiction. 

The affectionate name wasn’t lost on me and I basked in the implications and possibilities that came with it.

“Morning sleepy head”, I cooed to her in return. “you know you snore?”, I teased.

“oh really? That’s interesting coming from you tossing and turning all night!” she quipped back.

“hmm, yeah. You’re also very expressive you know? You looked like you were having a bad dream”, my tone getting a little more serious.

“Oh so you were watching me sleep? Creep”, she continued to tease so I didn’t enquire more about her dream. 

Val’s face turned more serious as she seemed to remember yesterday. 

“Juls- I-“, I could tell she was conflicted about how to express what she felt. “I’m so sorry”, she said looking down at her hands which had now left my hip. “If anything had happened to you- I- I wouldn’t be able to-“

“Val, calm down, it’s okay, I’m fine”, I assure her, taking her hands in mine and stopping her from fiddling with her nails.

She kept looking down and didn’t seem convinced by my words in the slightest.

I raise my hand to her face and tilt her chin up in an attempt to bring her eyes to meet my own. 

“Val mirame, please”, she looked up at me like a puppy abandoned in the rain. “look at me, I’m fine. You saved me”. I made sure to emphasise my last words. She had saved me – multiple times. 

“I just can’t help but think about how I’ve dragged you into all of this. If I hadn’t brought you here-“

“Val if you hadn’t brought me here, I’d be alone on the streets doing god knows what. You have saved me more times than I can count and I wouldn’t have it any other way”, her eyes were beginning to tear up and my heart broke for her. “you didn’t drag me anywhere by the way. I am my own person and like you have made apparent to me, numerous times, I am free to leave if I wish”, remembering this detail her features relaxed more and apparently I had managed to ease some of her inner turmoil. 

“I chose to stay Val. I choose you”. My words made me feel sick. It was daunting to say these words and be so vulnerable, but I trusted Val with my life. I knew she would never be cruel upon discovering my true feelings for her.

I stared into blue whirlpools, swirling with every emotion under the sun. Anger at Lucho, appreciation for her family, bewilderment at me.

She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a knock at the door. 

Val flinched, completely taken aback my the interruption. She was like a 5 year old getting caught with her hand at the bottom of a once full candy jar, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

It was Chivis waking her for food. 

She turned back to me and flashed a delicate, empathetic smile.

“You hungry?” we both laugh at the ridiculous situation the past few days has put us in.

We get out of bed reluctantly and I head back to my room to get some fresh clothes.

Meeting Val outside her bedroom door 10 minutes later, she took my hand and started to lead the way to the dining room, not wanting to lose any more contact than we already had in the time it took to get changed. 

We stayed this way all through breakfast. The silence rang out through the whole family sat at the table – Leon, Guille and Eva completely idle within themselves.

Val and I sat next to each other – her right hand linked with my left, the both of them resting on Val’s lap, hidden under the table.

After some time Guille tried another joke at my expense, which earnt him no laughs and only scolds, especially from Val. Anything that came out of Guille’s mouth by now had just become white noise to me. The ignorance in his words deserved no attention and that is what I paid them. 

No matter how dignified I might think myself, and how piggish I might find Guille, when I was being held at gunpoint last night I saw a glint of genuine concern in his eyes. 

I’m convinced this whole ‘playboy, macho’ image is a complete façade. Nonetheless, he still comes out with these disgusting one liners I can’t bring myself to get worked up over. I don’t have the energy right now.

Val on the other hand, always seems ready for a fight and right now is no exception. 

I feel her tense next to me so I squeeze her hand in response, attempting to ground her and help her keep her cool. It seems to work and I take the opportunity to take pride in the effect I seem to have on her.

There is this unspoken elephant in the room all through breakfast – where the hell was Eva last night?

I’m still not exactly close to the family so I can’t say I deserve an explanation but I can see that it’s affecting Val. 

My suspicions are confirmed when Val breaks the silence at the table with the question on everyone’s lips. 

Everyone turns to Eva for some sort of explanation, but all Val earns in return is a scoff, followed eagerly by more silence. 

Val decides to drop the subject because she trusts her dad to demand the answers out of Eva. I just hope she has a good enough reason to avoid getting disowned by the family. 

Everyone finishes their breakfast in silence and as soon as Leon leaves the table, the rest of us are dismissed. 

Val immediately shoots out of her seat and rushes to Eva. She snarls some words directly into her ear. I can’t hear her words but I can see the effect they’re having on Eva’s face. She tries to fake a laugh and feign dominance, as if whatever Val says to her can’t hurt her, but her eyes reveal something else. 

The Carvajal’s eyes are very revealing – none of them can mask their emotions with their eyes so they are quite easy to read, and all I see in Eva’s right now is fear. Maybe not fear of Valentina herself, but maybe fear of losing her and/or hurting her. 

As Val starts to move away from Eva, she turns to Guille and point her finger close to his face in a threatening manner “And you better watch yourself too. I am SO CLOSE Guille. So close”. With that, she returns to the seat next to me, leaving her siblings completely dumbfounded.

It’s my turn to receive her sweet whispers in my ear now as Val leans into my side – mine are much softer than the others. She speaks to me as if she is trying to coo a baby to sleep. 

“Wanna get out of here?”, she asks, to which I can only nod.

She leans back, smiles and takes my hand, leading me away from the table and to the front door.

“Are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?”, I ask, now occupying the passenger seat of Val’s car.

“No, Miss Valdes. That’s for me to know and you to find out”, she finishes with a wink. “I’m just going to get something from inside and I’ll be right back”. 

She’s back in the house in a flash and before I know it she’s putting something in the boot of the car. I didn’t even see her come out of the house. She must be hiding something back there. 

She joins me again, taking her place in the driver’s seat and we’re off.

About 10 minutes of gentle teasing and me trying to work her down to telling me where we’re going, she puts some music on. As she sang to her music I was completely enchanted. 

I was falling into this deep, never ending hole, full to the brim of everything Valentina Carvajal. 

The smell of her shampoo invaded my senses as her hair whipped in the air - flooding in through the open car windows. Her silky smooth skin gleamed and glistened in the strong June sun.

I felt so relaxed I must’ve closed my eyes and dozed off, because next thing I knew we were stopped at a gas station. Val was gently rousing me from my sleep by tapping me and lightly whispering my name. I love waking up like this. 

“Juls I’m going in to get snacks. You want anything?”

“oh yeah sure, I’ll come with you”

Entering the shop, I clocked a group of guys seemingly around my age, stood by the crisps. Val and I split up as she paid for the gas and I went on the hunt for snacks. 

Approaching the drinks isle, I noticed one of the guys heading my way. 

As he stood next to me, he leaned across me to reach the drink he wanted. 

I took a step back to give him more room. He took this as an opportunity to flash a toothy smile at me – obviously whitening his teeth way too much. They were basically platinum, and on the verge of looking completely plastic. 

Everything about the guy screamed ‘fuckboy’ and he obviously thought he was really something. I could tell by how overly confident he was – as if I was guaranteed to him. 

I smiled politely, but put the least amount of enthusiasm into it as possible. I wasn’t going to be rude, but nothing about how I was responding should’ve told him I was interested.

Somehow, he still thought he could have a chance. 

“Hey there”, a sly, croaky voice escaped his mouth, followed by another toothy side smile. 

I mentally heaved and rolled my eyes.

Either he hadn’t seen me roll my eyes or he didn’t care, because he kept pressing. 

“I’m not interested”, I said with a sarcastic smile.

“aver, come on chiquita. I just want to talk” he persisted.

“no, really. I’m good. Just go back to your friends and leave me be”

“you don’t have to be rude? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you-“

“she said she didn’t want to talk to you. Do you want me to put it in simpler terms? Maybe with my fists?”, Val’s voice came from behind him, and he turned on his heel so meet her challenging gaze.

“oh woah! Two beautiful ladies!? Must be my lucky day!” seriously who was this guy trying to kid.

Val’s features softened as she sauntered closer to him. he stood frozen as she approached.

She was basically pressing herself up against him, draping her arms around his shoulders and bringing her mouth to his ear. I watched he scene stunned.

“how about you and I go outside? Round the corner, where we can’t be interrupted” she whispered in his ear, using her sexiest voice. As she spoke into the boy’s ear she winked at me over his shoulder, never breaking eye contact with me.

As she pulled back from his body, he gave a dopey nod and followed her.

Suddenly she swivelled on her heel and pretended to look confused. 

I was still frozen in the aisle with a bottle of water in my hand after the scene I had just witnessed. I was jealous of the boy getting that attention from Val, but just seeing her doing that in any capacity affected me beyond belief. 

“Juls come on, pay for the stuff and join us outside - you don’t mind if my friend joins us right?” she had the boy wrapped around her little finger and she flashed me and evil, seductive and mischievous smile. 

She didn’t even know the things she was doing to me right now – even if her efforts weren’t directed to me I was still somehow falling captive to her.

The boy’s friends were cheering him on and snarling like animals.

After paying for the items and putting them in the car, I joined them both outside the shop. Val took my hand and led us behind the building. 

As we rounded the corner she pulled me close and whispered in my ear “trust me”. I did. With my whole entire being. 

The boy joined us and she immediately pinned him against the wall, completely dominating him and the situation. 

One of her hands was held above his shoulder, next to his face on the wall, while the other traces up and down the boy’s chest in a teasing manner.

“you know what I’ve always wanted to do?” again, whispering in a sultry voice, making direct eye contact with the him.

The boy swallowed thickly in response and hummed, not being able to get any words out – honestly I don’t blame him. I’m speechless and I’m not even the Val’s target.

“have sex in public” she answered for him. I really didn’t know where she was going with this and truth be told I was beyond nervous. I really did trust her though, so I just watched the whole thing unfold. 

“Strip.” She ordered him. 

When he hesitated, she ordered again. 

The boy started taking his shirt off with new found confidence. “Aren’t you going to too?”, he asked realising neither Val or I were getting undressed either.

“In good time”, Val answered with a smirk and a wink. 

She took a few steps back to join me and watch the poor boy, subject to Val’s ministrations. He did deserve this though. Maybe he should take no as an answer next time. 

Once he was down to his briefs Val told him to stop – if she hadn’t we’d be the ones in torture, and not him.

“okay, well done” she said will a cheeky smile. “Now, it’s mine and Juls’ turn”, she said, turning to me and winking.

I panicked slightly until Val told him to turn around and not to peek. There was some protest – the greedy bastard wanting a full show; but Val insisted.

After he’d turned around, Val giggled and held her finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet.

She quietly snuck up behind the boy and took his clothes from the floor. 

She made quick work of returning to me, taking me hand and leading me, running, in the direction of her car.

It took the boy all but 10 seconds to realise what’d happened, and it was just enough for us to get in the car and have the finale show of watching him try to chase the car, in nothing but his briefs.

I had never laughed so hard and Val could barely see the road through the tears in her eyes from laughing so much. 

The rest of the ride consisted of joking around, singing and sleeping on my part.

At around 4pm we arrived at our destination. 

The sound of gravel under the tires stirred me from my sleep and I opened my eyes to a beautiful, long and glowing beach. Val had parked with the front of the car overlooking the mass expanse of sand with only a couple of people taking advantage of the beautiful day and climate. 

“Val this place is beautiful! Wow!” I couldn’t take my eyes away from it.

Living in a trailer my whole life, I hadn’t had any opportunity to go to the beach before. My only experience of them was seeing them in bay watch, whenever Chino had it on his shitty little TV.

It was so much better in person – beyond belief.

“come on Juls”, she said as she led me out of the car. “we’re having a beach picnic”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I rush my chapters a bit. Can you guys let me know if this is just in my head lol ;)


	13. More Than You Know

I watched as Val walked to the back of her car to get the mystery object. Turns out it was a humble little picnic basket full to the brim with snacks and beverages. Also in the basket were some books and drawing materials. The thoughtfulness behind the act wasn’t lost on me.

She moved effortlessly, carrying the heavy basket in one hand and take mine with the other.

We walked in silence toward the great expanse of ocean, and settled close to the shore - hidden to the rest of the beach and world by some rocks.

While I was admiring the amazing view, the sun due to be setting in about 2 to 3 hours, Val made work of laying out the woven blanket and setting up our treats for the evening.

I was completely in awe of everything – Val’s thoughtfulness, the view, the effort, the woman. 

It was all perfect.

“Your seat, ma’am”, Val’s voice invaded my thoughts as she gestured for me to take my place on the blanket.

When I’d settled, she lowered a second blanket over me, to cover me from the cold breeze sweeping in.

She took care in tucking me in, and making sure I was secure and comfortable before plonking herself down next to me in an adorable fashion which made me giggle.

She nuzzled close to me while I raised the blanket, to share with her. 

She had brought a selection of fruits including grapes and chopped up apples, along with more indulgent treats like chocolate covered strawberries and crisps. Among the selection was also a bottle of red wine. 

I had never been a massive drinker but I took the opportunity to have one glass. There was no way I could manage any more than that though, and Val hardly had any because of driving us back later on in the evening. 

Sitting here with Val in comfortable silence, listening to the gentle waves crashing to the shore was exactly what I needed right now. Everything that had happened in the last couple of days had put on more stress than I realised, and this was the perfect anecdote. 

After around 15 minutes, Val raised her head from my shoulder and distanced herself. I missed her contact immediately.

“Okay lets play a game”, she suggested with a mischievous grin.

I hummed playfully in response.

“I’m going to throw the grapes, you’re going to catch them in your mouth”, I knew I was going to look ridiculous, but she was so excited how could I say no.

For all that Val has masterful coordination, being a hitman and all, I had none. No matter how perfectly she aimed those grapes, there was no chance any of them would find themselves in my mouth. 

Fits of giggles erupted in both of us after each attempt, until Val tried to do both of our work. She estimated which direction my head would move and a grape finally made it to its destination. 

Both of our eyes widened in disbelief and we ran around the beach in celebration like footballers just after scoring the winning goal.

We ran into each other, in a crushing hug and jumped in circles. 

Anyone watching the scene would’ve thought we had taken something. The pure joy from something so simple was beyond comical. I fell to the ground laughing and Val soon joined m, laying her head in my lap. Somehow we always found our way back into each other’s arms.

We calmed and I played with Val’s hair, running the golden brown locks through my fingers. The silky thick hair reminded me of the waves in front of us. Their calm but chaotic nature, flooding my heart with warmth and adoration. 

I continued watching her hair sift through my fingers in a complete trance - distracted me from the fact Val was staring directly into my eyes. Watching me watching her.

“Juls?”, her voice softer than ever - struggling to escape at first, and crackling before finding its strength.

“Ye Val?”, my eyes joining hers, now only to be met with a vulnerability I had never experienced before.

“Te quiro. Te quiero mucho”, there they were. The words I didn’t know I craved. 

I could only stare at her in adoration. My words had completely escaped me, trapped in awe of the magnificent woman before me. 

She reached her hand up and ran her fingers across my jawline. I leant into the sensation while I could. The act was so gently, that vulnerability still ever present in her eyes. They also swam with that determined look of bravery and I could tell she didn’t regret opening up to me. 

She always seemed so sure of herself. This moment didn’t seem to be any exception, but I could tell the fear of rejection was holding her back slightly – as if anyone could ever say no to such an amazingly beautiful and caring woman.

“Yo tambien”, I finally managed to let out.

After several seconds that felt like minutes had passed, Val sat up and went to the basket. She pulled two towels from the wicker and raised her eyebrows in a playful suggestion. 

The implications caught up with me and realised she wanted to go swimming.

“Val no! It’s going to be freezing!”

“Nah come on Juls, be adventurous!”, she jested back to me.

“We don’t even have costumes!”. I knew as soon as I said this what her reply would be.

“We don’t need them”, she whispered and immediately started stripping.

She started with her t-shirt – being deliciously teasing, pulling it over her head practically in slow motion. I was frozen and my breath caught in my throat.

Finally completely removing her top, she tossed it next to me and watches me seductively, waiting for my move. I was gone. How could I possibly say no?

I stood maintaining eye contact with her the whole time, while I slowly removed my own top. I saw her swallow hard and I blushed under her hungry gaze. 

Her turn came and she unbuckled her belt, followed by her buttons on her jeans. Painfully teasing me, taking her sweet time sliding them down her impossibly long legs.

It was a whole lot darker now that we had been on the beach for a while already but there was thankfully still enough light, allowing me to see every sweet curve and outline of her amazing body.

I really was in the presence of a goddess. 

I mirrored her and lowered my own jeans, the both of us now only in our underwear.

We took laboured breaths in sync as she made her way over to me

“You’re beautiful Juls”, now whispering in my ears and causing goose bumps to erupt throughout my body.

I swallowed hard and tried to force words out but none came. No words could possibly express everything I felt in this moment, so I showed her.

Cupping her face delicately in my hands, our eyes connected once again.

Alternating between her eyes and lips, I began leaning in, slowly closing the agonising and torturous distance between us.

Her breath hitched and I took my opportunity to move forward that one last stretch.

The very last second before our lips connected, it took all the strength in me to pull away. 

This time it was Val’s turn to chase my lips. 

I planned on playing a painful game with her tonight – drawing out the tension and longing as long as possible, to make that sweet connection - when it does come - even greater.

Realising I had pulled away and completely hazed by lust and desire, she let out a shaky breath. A small whine escaped those luscious lips of hers.

Smirking at my effect on her, I closely brushed past her, taking her hand and leading her to the ocean.

I was determined to maintain control of our interaction, but the moment my toes came into contact with the ice cold water of the ocean, my confident exterior faltered. 

Now partially recovered from her haze, Val giggled at my sharp inhale at the extreme shock of temperature. 

“Not so tough hey?”, she teased racing past me and showing off by diving head first into the blisteringly cold water.

I bit my bottom lip, attempting to withhold the cold and tried convincing myself it wasn’t that bad. Val watched me, laughing at the scene and eventually decided to come to rescue me. 

“You just need to go straight in! You’ll adjust, trust me!”, she had to shout over the sound of the crashing waves.

I waded through the water, hand held in Valentina’s and made it to hip height.

“okay I really can’t do any more than this. I don’t know how you aren’t shivering!”, she laughed at me again and splashed me with some water. “Oh it’s on”, I shouted at her and decided I could sacrifice what little warmth I had left, just so I could win this water fight.

After some more splashing in the water, Val had called cease fire and made her way over to me.

She linked her arms around my waist and my antics halted immediately.

Having her this close was something to treasure and never waste – definitely not for the sake of winning a water fight.

She brought her hands to my jawline once again, and traced from under my ear to the apex of my chin.

She had me wrapped around her little finger and took complete advantage of it. A sudden familiar mischievous grin invaded her features and before I knew it, I was being dunked under the water. 

No way was I going to let her get away with this. 

I pretended to flail around in the water, as if I couldn’t swim. It was cruel but I wanted revenge.

The panic that invaded Val was definitely underestimated, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. 

She frantically grasped at my arms, trying to pull me up. When she was successful and I finally came up for air tears flooded her eyes. 

“hey Val, I’m fine. I’m fine”, as soon as I saw tears spilling out of those precious eyes, guilt invaded my body and I immediately regretted being so childish.

“Juls what the fuck!”, she shouted pushing at my shoulders while I tried to hold her arms to calm her down.

“Val I’m so sorry. That was so stupid”

“Yeah, it was fucking stupid Juliana!”

We both stood there in silence, Val composing herself and me practically cowering like a dog being told off. Our eyes connected after a moment and laughter broke out between us. It was proving hard to be so serious when in each other’s company – even for just a moment.

“You got pretty worked up about that. Must really care about me huh”, I teased.

Val bowed her head and look up at me with puppy eyes.

“More than you know”, she whispered, completely changing the tone of the conversation.

For the third time today we found ourselves invading each other’s personal space. Eyes fluttered up and down, almost routine for us now. Hands found hips and bases of necks and the distance was slowly but surely being eradicated.

My eyes danced over heavenly facial features and found solace in having her so close. This was our moment.

A playful grin graced Val’s lips and just as we were on that last stretch, barely an inch apart, she backs away again. This woman will genuinely be the death of me.

“Val”, I whine surprising myself.

My hands loops around her back and I quickly draw her into me. 

Her back arches as mine leans into her. She barely has time to flash that cheeky grin before my lips are on hers.

Our lips connect, full of ease and lust at the same time. I have never experienced anything quite like it.

Her delicate, plump lips glide over mine as we find new angles to explore, and indulge in the exhilarating sensation.

Air became a secondary concern. The only thing I needed to survive in this moment was more of Valentina. 

Relaxed movement transformed into pure desperation and lust – neither of us completely satisfied and always craving more. Always more.

Laboured breaths came from both of our noses as we held on to the kiss for as long as possible. 

When the time to separate came, my eyes instantly looked for hers – searching for that reassurance that there was no regret.

When her eyes finally met mine again, she blushed like a school girl. All I could feel was relief. Relief from her mutual longing; from the painstaking build of tension bringing us to this magical moment; that I could finally kiss her. 

“now please, for the love of god, no more teasing”, I whispered into our shared air – never leaving each other’s orbit.

Val practically leapt back onto me and almost caused me to fall back into the water. Her hand found each other behind my neck, clasped to one another tightly and her lips found mine again. 

While our first kiss had heat, our second had fire. 

Electricity invaded my body and soul as Val’s lips devoured mine. A pace was set and it was far from steady.

Weeks of yearning and wistful looks came to this moment and we took full advantage. 

My hands moved down her back and found her perfectly round ass. I felt her breath hitch as I cupped her cheeks and raised her to my torso. 

Long legs now wrapped around my hips, I made careful work of walking us back to shore - almost falling over into the water with every step.

To be honest I can’t say either of us would have cared if we fell – just as long as we got back to land fast.

Finally reaching the sandy shore, I laid Val on her back, into the soft but marshy sand.

We lay there, caressing each other’s bodies, living in each other’s bubbles and embracing the time we had together in this moment. 

Taking full advantage of the situation, hands wandered and found asses and breasts. After exploring one another’s bodies for approximately 10 minutes, me still towering over Val, I pulled away gasping for breath.

Despite gasping for breath, Val still chased my lips. I watched her longing in awe, not quite believing I was responsible for evoking such desperation in someone.

After a couple of seconds composing ourselves, nervous laughter broke out and glances filled with astonishment and bewilderment were now all that occupied our space.

“That was-“, Val cleared her throat. “Wow”

I laughed and pulled her in close, the both of us now lying back on the sand – too content to notice the bitter cold from the night drawing in.

Val snuggled into my chest and placed gentle kisses just above my breasts. The act in itself wasn’t an advance on having sex together, she intended for it to reflect the intimacy and closeness we felt toward each other in this moment - but boy was it getting me worked up.

I notice Val starting to shiver in my arms so I mustered all my strength and, forced myself up to get out clothes and collect all of our belongings to head back to the car. 

We walked hand in hand to the car, the silence speaking a thousand words between us. 

It was comfortable and familiar, just like everything else about Valentina. I felt safe, secure, wanted and protected. I could only hope she felt the same comfort in my presence. 

Only when we reached the car did I realise how late and dark it was getting. 

Val having done the long drive here, I didn’t want her driving due to tiredness and I couldn’t drive because I’d drank wine. 

“Val you can’t drive, let’s find a hotel or something to stay at”, I pleaded with her.

“Orrrrrr, we could fall asleep under the stars?”, Val was in such a dreamy state in that moment. She was being unrealistic but it was still so adorable.

“It’s way too cold, we’d freeze!”, I tried reasoning with her.

“I’d keep you warm baby”, she cooed, trying to convince me. I couldn’t hold my laugh at her cheesy lines. The idea was completely ridiculous and there was no way I was agreeing to it. It couldn’t hurt fantasising about it though, the plan being so romantic.

“I’d love to sleep out here with you, the world to ourselves, but we can’t. I don’t want you to get ill”. 

“hmm I guess snuggling up with you in a cosy bed won’t be too bad either”, she said looping her arms around my neck and giving me a peck on the lips. The kiss was short and sweet but still managed to have an electric and burning effect on me. 

She admitted defeat and we made our way to the nearest hotel that met Val’s standards.

Coming from the richest family in Mexico, Val had grown accustomed to a lavish lifestyle and this made it a little hard finding a good enough place to stay the night. Val insisted she wanted the best hotel for my sake – that she wanted to spoil me. A part of me however,   
suspected she also just what she was used to.

The hotel was extravagant to say the least, especially just for a one night stay on a whim - with a valet taking Val’s car, a large marble lobby and a room service menu that looked painstakingly handwritten I felt like I was in a film.

I felt extremely out of place but with Val by my side, my comfort was slowly returning.

We walked to the front desk hand in hand, me tucked in close to her side like a child hiding behind her mother for protection.

“Good evening, Miss. How can I help you?”, the man behind the desk addressed Val.

“Evening, can we have a room for tonight please. Just a one night stay thanks”

Val paid and the man handed us our key cards.

Opening the door to our room we noticed it had two double beds, instead of one queen or king – which is probably what Val was expecting instead, especially considering the cost of the room.

“Are you kidding me?”, Val expressed to no one in particular.

“Val come on, it’s fine. We can just use one of the beds”, I said throwing my phone onto the nearest bed and sitting down.

“No Juls, come on. It’s the principle of it”. With that she was holding the door open, looking expectantly like a mother who was losing her patience at her stropping toddler.

I huffed and mustered the energy to get up again, laughing at Val’s expression as I passed her. I had to give it to her, she knows what she wants and doesn’t accept any less.

Reaching the front desk again I could tell she was going to be full of undermining attitude, so I told her to calm down and that it was an honest mistake.

“Hi, yes, us again. We’d like a different room please – one with a king instead of two doubles”, she eyed the man expectantly. Bless him, he was completely caught off guard by her tone. It took him a moment to put two and two together but as soon as he did, he was full of apology.

“Oh I am so sorry Miss, I just assumed-“

“Maybe don’t assume and ask next time”, I really wasn’t liking how she was treating him. Sure, it was annoying having assumptions made but it really was an honest mistake and it’s not like he wasn’t apologetic about it. You could see the fear in his eyes for god sake.

He gave us our new key cards and I made sure to put a 5 in the tip jar, giving him a gentle smile. 

Reaching our new room, I sat Val down on our now king sized bed.

“You didn’t need to talk to him like that you know? We all make mistakes”, I gentle spoke to her crouched down and holding her hands.

“But Juls he just assumed! It’s the 21st century for god sake! It doesn’t take much to just ask!”, I could tell this goes deeper than the surface.

I joined her, sitting next to her on the bed, still holding her hand.

“Want to let me know what’s really bothering you?”, I asked playfully bumping her shoulder to ease the tension.

She stared at me unsure for a moment, eyeing me carefully and hesitantly.

“Juls-“, a huff, “What is this? What are we? It’s okay if you don’t want anything- if you don’t want this-, or… me. I just want to know where this is going and where I stand-“, I stopped her nervous rambling by joining our lips for the countless time tonight. 

It made sense now – the incident with the beds affected her so much because she was insecure and unsure about what this was. She wanted the uncertainty about if we were together or not – sharing the same bed or not – gone. 

“I want whatever you want”, I whispered as I pulled back from velvety lips. 

“I want you. All of you”, she whispered back.

We gently leaned into each other once more. The kiss started slow and languid, but quickly escalated as we began exploring each other’s bodies once more.

It was my turn to lie back with Val towering over me now. The sight was magnificent. She held the moment to look at me and took the opportunity slowly lick her lisps. It was agonising. 

I huffed in disbelief at her beauty and frustration at the distance, and pulled her neck down to meet her lips with mine once more. 

A battle of tongues broke out as we both fought for dominance and worked toward to mutual goal of sweet release – the heat ever rising.

Val pulled back one again, moving her body off of mine for the first time in the last 5 minutes. It felt like we’d been kissing for an eternity, but it still wasn’t enough.

She pulled her top over her head once again, revealing that ever so familiar white lace bra to my gaze.

Heaven. I was in heaven.


	14. Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone's staying safe x

I can’t believe I had her here before me like this. 

Here she was, laying below me - taking my breath away as per usual. 

Juls was mine for the taking.

I had to make sure I didn’t get too ahead of myself; I wanted this to be magical. It’s what Juls deserved. 

Ever since I met her all I’ve wanted to do is take care of her and right now is no exception.

I look down at her, my hands pinning hers above her head, the both of us panting – trying to gain some sort of control over our emotions – while anticipating where the night would take us, and this adventure we would go on together. 

Catching me off guard, in one swift movement, she flipped me over, so she was now on top.

Her lips and teeth made fast work of latching to, and attacking my jaw – starting there and slowly moving down my neck and chest. Her hand lifted one of my legs so it was now bent at the knee and she had no problem slotting herself between my legs – making a comfortable temporary home for herself. 

I can feel my control slipping like rope from my hands.

Before taking my bra off, our eyes connected once more – the both of us trying to control our breathing. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?”, I managed to ask through the lustful haze clearing all my senses right now.

“I’m sure”, she replied – eating me up with her eyes, desperate for us to take full advantage of each other’s bodies. 

In my effort to make this as special as possible, I force us to slow down a bit. As much as I’m all for fucking, tonight I wanted to make love. Passionately, slowly, devastatingly. 

Wanting to set a more meaningful pace, I flip us once more and lean down slowly and take her lips in mine; in a soft and slow connection. We both sigh into the embrace as if the weight of the world had just been taken off of our shoulders.

Cupping her sculpted chin in my hands, I began stroking the soft skin – relishing in the velvet texture gliding under the pads of my fingertips. 

My hands found themselves sliding down her chest and torso to find the hem of her shirt. Our lips only separated momentarily, to remove the offending clothing. 

My hands continued their path across the valleys of her skin – on collar bone; her breasts; her ribs.

All while giving her tantalising kisses on her face, jaw and neck.

I gently nipped the soft expanse of irresistible skin and was rewarded with moans erupting from Juls’ addicting lips.

“Val”, a whine escaped from the beauty below me. 

“Let me look after you”, is all I replied as I resumed my ministrations.

I sat up on her torso and brought he with me so she was also in a sitting position. Straddling her now, I made a move to unclasp her bra. She hugged me close in return, and did the same.

When both bras dropped to the floor our breaths hitched. 

From panting to practical silence, the contrast and shift in energy and heat was impossible to go unnoticed.

I was the first to lower my mouth to encase one of her pert nipple. A moan almost instantly escaped her mouth upon contact. 

I moved forward and moved her back down to lay on the bed.

With a pop I released her nipple from my mouth and paid close attention to the other.

Moans filled the room as the both of us could feel the heat of the moment almost reaching its apex. 

Releasing her other nipple, I moved down her body leaving a trace with my tongue, licking down the middle of her stomach and listening to Juls getting more and more impatient. 

Shivers erupted along Jul’s skin and her breathing became even more shaken, if possible. We were both dying in the torturous anticipation but I was determined to make this one of Juls’ best nights on record. 

Reaching her jeans, I started unbuttoning and unzipping them – my only goal being having Juls bare in front of me and mine for the taking. 

After finally pulling her jeans off, I worked my way up her thighs, taking my time in gliding my hands over her milky legs slowly and sensually. 

I finally met my goal, reaching her hips and being face to face with her black lace pants. Only one layer now holding me back from pure satisfaction.

I made eye contact with Juls one last time to look for any form of hesitancy or regret but all I found was raw longing and ache for release. 

I slowly lowered the thin material, keeping eye contact with Juls and only looked down when they were completely discarded from her being. 

I could smell her want and was instantly consumed by it. 

Separating her legs to take my place between them, I was finally presented with the most intimate part of the woman I adored so much.

It all felt like a dream and I made sure to keep it feeling like that. I wanted Juls to be blown out of this world and question life itself. I wanted her to want more. 

Carefully parting her folds and blowing cold air on her centre – increasing the ever growing anticipation tenfold, Juls impatiently raised her hips in a desperate attempt for contact. 

I chuckled to myself, still not quite believing my luck. 

I slowly brought my thumb to the entrance of her centre, taking a path upward toward her clit. 

The touch was gentle and barely even there, but it was enough to make Juls squirm and that was all I sought for. 

I suddenly found her hand joining mine at her clit and pulling me up to her.

“I need you here”, she whispered, barely making a sound. 

I brought myself back up to be face to face with my muse and holding eye contact, brought my thumb to my tongue, licking it clean.

I swear Juls stopped breathing for a second but as soon as she came back down to earth, she surged forward to capture my lips and taste her own juices on my tongue. 

She brought her hand down to my lips and fumbled with my jeans.

“These need to go. Now.”, I obeyed and got rid of my jeans and pants in one foul swoop.

Lying next to her now, face to face, hip to hip, her fingers teased my groin. She pushed lightly above my crotch and elicited a sensation I have never felt before. 

She continued paying attention to around my centre, but never making direct contact. It was her turn to tease me and I was in pure agony.

With shaky breath, I tried to compose myself enough to form a coherent sentence.

“I’m meant to be looking after you Juls”, reminding her of my mission.

“And who’s going to look after you huh?”, she whispered into my space. 

I sighed and couldn’t help a moan escaping from my lips, Juls still grinding her hand around my most intimate and sensitive area. I had no idea teasing could cause so much pleasure, but here we are. 

I opened my eyes to see Juls on one elbow – half towering over me and using her left hand to continue her ministrations. I have never seen her pupils so diluted and full of hunger and lust. 

I needed to get back on track with my plan or I would lose control completely.

I got up enough to change positions with her – my hand now exploring her stomach and inching its way into her most intimate area. 

A gasp protrudes from her lips and I capture it by sealing my lips to hers. She had given up her efforts for dominance now.

She was giving herself completely to me and the sensation, and getting lost in every implication that came with it. 

I worked my fingers through her folds and found a rhythm, circling her throbbing clit and alternating teasing her entrance. 

As Juls’ already fast paced breathing turned into full blown panting, I knew she was close. 

Being barely an inch away from Juls’ face - front seat with full view to such an amazing show, is something I will never get tired of. I can only pray I get to see it often in the future. 

Her neck flung back, causing her back to arch and her mouth was held agape, a silent scream threatening to become sound.

I slowed my fingers and heard her whine. The cute crease in her brow when she’s confused or frustrated returned and I decided it was time to give us both what we craved. Suddenly, I picked up the pace tenfold and she was sent flying over the edge.

To say the moment was glorious would be a gross understatement. 

I could do nothing but work her through the last shocks of her orgasm and watch her completely in awe. 

As he breathing steadied again, I kissed her cheeks softly and brought my hand up to my face.

I licked my fingers clean as Juls held eye contact with me.

Neither of us could tear our eyes away from one another. Neither of us wanted to.

“Val”, he voice cracked. “That was-“, to say I was quite pleased with myself in the effect left on Juls would be an understatement. I’ve never felt so satisfied in my efforts toward someone before. 

The knowledge that I had done that to Juls and left her in such a state made me vibrate with excitement. 

I kissed her gently but passionately, communicating all the words that didn’t need to be said in this moment. 

As we worked into the kiss deeper, Juls flipped me and started working on my jaw and neck – nipping and sucking where she saw fit.

I watched her work her way down my body, paying close attention to my nipples and then continuing her path to my centre. 

Her journey and the time she took to get to her destination was agonising to say the least and I was beginning to get restless. I found it hard to breathe, my body was so overcome with anticipation and chills.

She was torturing me and I could tell she was loving every second of it.

Having had flings in the past, I am no stranger to sex – but it has never felt like this before. 

Before now, it was quite literally ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ and that was it. This was so much different – Juls was so much different.

She wanted to take care of me, she wanted to show me how much I mean to her – just like I’d shown her. 

I know that sometimes Juls struggles to find the words to express herself fully but in this moment I could feel her pouring every ounce of herself into working toward my release. This was how she communicated – through actions and gentle caresses. What did I do to deserve   
this?

She kissed down to my crotch and looked up at me – dark orbs reflecting all the lust and anticipation back to me – before taking a long and tantalising lick up from my centre to my clit.

Both gasping as she first made contact, our eyes joined once more. 

She licked her lips and that was the end of me.

Her head lowered again and she set out on her mission.

I’d be surprised if I lasted even 20 seconds. Everything Juls did was pure perfection. The way she moved, the sounds she made, the emotions she poured into her actions – she was a goddess, plain and simple. 

It really didn’t take me long to reach my peak. It only took a couple strokes of her tongue around my clit to finish me off. And god was it strong – I’ve never experienced such a strong orgasm - all of our emotions packed into one intimate act. I was completely shaken to my core and I craved more.

All I wanted to do was be with Juls.

Making sure she’d completely worked me through the final strains of my release, she joined me at the head of the bed again and lay her head on my chest while I caught my breath.

“Juls-“, I started trying to use words to express my adoration for the beautiful woman laying on my chest.

“No Val, no words. Just rest for now”, she moved her head to look me in the eyes and gave me a sweet peck before settling back on my chest.

I looped my arms around her and pulled her impossibly closer to me.

I’m not sure when I fell asleep but it was the best I’d slept in forever. 

Juliana brough this peace wherever she went and I was sure having her around could only bring good. I was safe and happy as I was by her side – ready to serve and protect her whatever may come. 

\--

I woke to gentle and steady puffs of air on my chest – the both of us in the same position, but with our legs fully intertwined now. 

I moved my hand from around her chest, hugging her close, to her face to brush some of her silky raven hair out of her face. I got lost in the sensation and kept stroking her hair for a while – just taking in the tranquillity of the moment as memories of last night came back to   
me. 

Thinking back to last night’s events and reliving the emotions relit a fire inside of me and all my ever persistent craving for Juls increased immediately. 

The angel on my chest needed and deserved the sleep though, so I buried my hunger to try and return the peace she’s given me.

I ended up drifting back off to sleep, being in such a calm and peaceful state.

When I woke again I immediately noticed there wasn’t a comforting and grounding weight on my chest anymore. Half asleep, I shot up to a sitting position and looked around the room frantically still in a sleepy haze. Juls wasn’t anywhere in the room.

I can’t help myself but to panic. I was raised in a family surrounded by violence and threat and that is what I was used to. My mind instantly jumped to kidnapping and torture – that’s just how I was conditioned to think. It was my natural first response.

Shooting from my bed to get dressed and look for Juls I noticed her bag was still on the chair in the corner of the room. Her clothes were gone so at least she hadn’t been dragged from the room bare and exposed – small graces. 

Just as I was getting my shoes on, the door opened and in sundered Juls, carrying a tray of food, coffee and juices. 

She haltered the moment she saw me dressed and obviously about to leave the room.

“Going somewhere?”, she asked half joking, but I could tell part of her feared I was just going to take off and leave her here.

“Juls-“, I ran to her and embraced her in a tight hug and she almost dropped the tray. “I’m sorry, I know what this looks like but I wasn’t leaving you, I promise. I thought you’d left, or someone had taken you- I-“, I started rambling.

“You thought someone had taken me? Val- what?”, I knew how ridiculous I was being, but it’s just the world I was raised in.

“I know, I know, it’s just what I’m used to-“, I tried my hardest not to look crazy in this moment. I looked like some possessive girlfriend- Girlfriend? Am I a girlfriend?

Juls sighed and I knew she understood what I was saying.

She put the plate down and closed the little space between us to give me a hug. I nuzzled into her neck and she into mine. We were in each other’s safe places and we knew everything was going to be okay.

We were both here, neither of us was going anywhere.

I place delicate kisses to the soft skin on her neck and heard her sigh into the contact, burying herself more into my own. 

I guided her to the bed and went to bring the tray to sit with us on the bed so we could enjoy our breakfasts in as close proximity as possible.

We casually chatted while eating our food – all while never breaking physical contact. We were always fiddling with the other’s hands, or leaning on one another, or stealing token kisses every now and then.

“What’s going to happen when we go back home?”, Jules asked. I love that Juls calls it ‘home’.

“Here’s what I want to happen-“, I gave her a cheeky smirk as I took a breath to tell her my plan. “I think we should do whatever the fuck we want and everyone else is just going to have to deal with it”, I finished, placing a delicate peck on those addicting, plump lips.

“Val come on be serious”, she laughed, bumping my shoulder with hers.

“Who says I’m not being serious bebe?”, I winked and she blushed.

“I mean, do you really think your family’s going to accept us?”, she asked with caution, giving me a sceptical look.

“Well I’m already out to them – me having girlfriends isn’t any shock to them-“, I winced at myself for using the world ‘girlfriend’, assuming that’s what Juls wanted too, and the implication that many have come before her. “I mean-“, I began trying to recover.

Juls just watched me and laughed “It’s okay, I know what you mean”. She kept chuckling to herself.

“um, yeah.” Recover, Valentina. “Guille and Eva have dated employees before, I don’t see why anyone would be against it? I mean- not that you’re an employee- I-“

“Val”, Juls interrupted, stroking my hair behind my shoulder and out of my face. “Can you calm down a bit? You’re making me nervous”, she laughed trying to ease the tension. “What’s wrong amor?”. The pet name set off an explosion in my heart and I had to take a deep breath   
before speaking again.

“I just really like you Juls, like REALLY like you”, I whispered with my head slightly bowed. “I don’t want anything to go wrong. I’ve never felt this way toward someone before”. She raised my chin with her gentle finger, bringing my eyes to meet hers.

“I’ve never felt this way before either”, she whispered back. “In fact a lot about this is a first for me”, I looked at her puzzled.

“You’ve never been in a relationship before?”, for fuck sake Valentina why do you keep assuming you’re in a relationship!?

Juls laughed to herself. “Well yes, that, but last night- I’ve never-“, the shy and vulnerable side to juls was showing now as it was her turn to bow her head.

I looked at her in wonder for a moment as the world caught up to me. I was her first. She trusted me enough to let me be the first- I was in awe once again.

“Juls, mi amor, you should’ve told me”, I said pulling and holding her close. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”, I was almost scared to ask.

“No”, she was quick to answer. “No, Val. Nothing about last night hurt- it was amazing”, she reassured me, meeting my eyes once more.

“I wish I could’ve made it more special for you. If I’d known I would’ve lit candles or something”, I said with a pout. Juls started laughing so I chuckled along lightly but there was weight behind what I’d said. 

I really wanted last night to be special for Juls, with or without it being her first time – she deserved it.

“I wouldn’t have had it any other way, trust me Vale”, she said still laughing and kissing my forehead lightly. “It was perfect”.

I snuggled into her side and we sat there, content in each other’s embraces for what felt like forever.

Check out time was at 2pm so our cuddling session was cut shorter than we expected, with only having woken up around 11.

We walked out of the lobby, to the car hand in hand, and that is how we drove back to the Carvajal mansion too.

My car is a manual so occasionally, I’d have to leave Juls’ hand empty for brief amounts of time to change gears and it was astounding how much those few seconds hurt. As soon as my hand slipped from hers, they craved each other once more. It was lucky I only had to let go   
a couple of second at a time – I don’t think I would’ve been able to go any longer than that. 

Pulling into the mansion’s grounds, I realised I had underestimated how scary this was. What if they DIDN’T accept Juls and me being together. I wish we’d spoken about what we really were before heading home.

After turning off the engine, I put my forehead on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. I felt Jul’s gentle touch caressing my arm, coaxing me to look at her.

“It’s going to be okay, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere”, she offered a gentle smile and cupped my jaw, bringing my lips to hers.

The kiss was short and fragile, but it held so much meaning – just like all of our kisses since our first less than 24 hours ago.

“Juls- what if we didn’t tell anyone right away?”, I looked at her with hopeful eyes. “Believe me, I want to shout about you to the world, but, just in case they react badly- I just want us to have some time in our own world for a little bit. Is that okay?”, I whispered into our shared   
space.

“That’s more than okay Val”, she pecked my lips once more. “Truth be told your family scare me to death so I wouldn’t mind a little stalling time either”, she finished with a wink and hopped out the car.

I chased her into the house and awaited paradise with my favourite girl.


End file.
